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This is the part where I give you a lot of information going on
the assumption that anyone really cares. Of course if you
actually do care then you have really made my day. I kind of
like the idea of doing a show history and so does Chris. The
show history covers everything up until September 1997. It is
also told from my perspective during the summer and fall of
1997. So here it goes. ~Miguel (with some additions by Chris)
I have added a short section to the very bottom relaying how I
met Miguel and Chris thanks to Sniffles as well ~Nathan
Thanksgiving 1992
Coming Soon: A Christmas Gift
- My mom tells me that she and my dad are going to get me a
camcorder for Christmas. This immediately sparks an interest
with me. I decide that what I don't want to do is use my
camcorder to shoot trips to the zoo and birthday parties and
basically the sorts of things dads always shoot. I'm going to
use my camera as a creative outlet. Not only will I be able to
document my friends, but I can also tell stories in the process.
December 11, 1992
My dad is killed in a random freeway shooting on his way back
home from work. Christmas kind of just passes us by. I don't
even really care at that point. Mom says that she'll eventually
get my Christmas present for me which in a way is the last
Christmas gift my dad would ever get me. Although he isn't
around to help me pick it out, it was at least partially his
idea.
The Rest of December 1992
Since I knew that I was still going to get this camcorder, I
decided to spend some time writing a script. I wrote one based
around me Chris, and a friend of ours, Brett Gardner. We were
always getting together practically every weekend to write songs
in our futile attempt to get a band together, so why not on one
of those occasions make a short movie?
The Bet
- The script I write is based on Brett's constant ramblings that
he thinks he is a werewolf and a joke I heard some stand-up
comic tell one time. The script was called The Bet and
it's about these two guys, played by me and Chris, who hold a
wager about whether Brett really is a werewolf as he claims.
Chris decides that he is going to prove that Brett is a werewolf
by getting a silver bullet made. If the silver bullet kills
Brett then it proves that he is a werewolf. My character is so
stupid that he doesn't realize that a silver bullet would kill
anyone werewolf or not.
Chris and Brett read my short script and like the idea of
getting together to do something creatively with a camera. The
only problem is I don't yet have this camera, but that's not
really too much of a problem. At least we would have something
to do once I finally did get it.
January 1993
The Adventures of Tim and Jim
- I find some inspiration and write a second script around me,
Chris, and Brett. I decide to call my and Chris' character Tim
and Jim. Chris' character Tim was the brains of the two,
devising the devious schemes that were ultimately destructive.
My character was Jim the guy who followed Tim around getting
into trouble with him. I know this kind of sounds like the
concept behind Beavis&Butt-Head but believe me I didn't hear of
that show until the summer of the same year. So, you can't
really accuse me of ripping off Mike Judge, although I'm sure I
was ripping some other concept off that I can't readily
remember.
The Means to Create Arrives
- Sometime toward the end of the month, I finally get my
camcorder. One Friday night, my mom and I drive out to
Incredible Universe, which I think is out of business now, and I
get my prized possession a Panasonic VHS-C Palmcorder. So you'd
think that we would have been on our way to making great movies?
Well not quite. Our creative energies were still wrapped up in
trying to get this band together. I had pretty much lost
interest in music at that point and things just were not panning
out very well overall.
Basically I used my camera to do what I hadn't wanted to do in
the first place, although I did manage to get some footage of my
college buddies that I can still put on for a few laughs.
May 1993
I get out of school for the summer. Chris and I spend many a
night hanging out at Stop N' Go and talking about what we're
going to do over the break. We come up with the Summer Camp List
which contains a few things that we had been planning to do like
getting together to watch all five of the Planet of the Apes
movies back to back. Also on that list is the idea that we
should finally get together to shoot The Bet and the Tim
and Jim story. I figure that The Bet could be worked as a
Tim and Jim story and that we could do a whole series of these
for our own personal pleasure.
June 1993
We still haven't gotten together to do anything by this time.
Chris and Brett are still too preoccupied with the band.
July 1993
The Discovery of Public Access
- We continue to talk about doing these little movies. I realize
that there would be a forum where we could share our work with
other people, not just our friends and families: public access.
Chris mentions a friend named Ziggy that he hadn't talked to in
a while that he knew had talked about doing a public access show
a while back. He was sure he never got it done for lack of
equipment. I tell Chris that he needs to call this guy, so we
can all get together.
In the meantime, we start watching public access to see what
kind of programming is on there. Generally we are very
disappointed because 99% of everything on the Fort Worth channel
is religious. All it is is hours upon hours of static shots of
preachers delivering sermons. There are also a few talent shows
and that sort of thing that isn't very interesting. There is
only one shining jewel in the entire Fort Worth public access
line-up: Myles of Smyles.
Myles and Myles and Myles of Smyles
- I had seen Myles of Smyles a couple of years ago and
fortunately it was still on. The show, while obviously amateur,
was still very funny and entertaining. What I found particularly
appealing was that since it was an amateur effort, you knew that
these were very ordinary people creating this show. These people
were more accessible than your average television entertainer
and I think it was that which made the show work better for me.
Sniffles
is Born
- Chris and I knew that we had to join the ranks of Myles of
Smyles. We wanted to do these Tim and Jim stories for
certain, but they would almost have to wait because there was no
way that our two little short things would ever be able to carry
one full half hour program let alone several. Doing them would
prove to be too complex for us. So what we planned to do was to
go with some type of newsmagazine/sketch comedy type of show
while we waited until we were ready for Tim and Jim.
Our thought was that if we filled up a show with a lot of
interviews and documentaries about the local Fort Worth scene,
we could crank them out fairly quickly. Chris came up with the
name Sniffles based on the joke that after you said the
name you were supposed to sniffle. He even came up with an
instrumental theme song and we were on our way - sort of...
First we had to get a hold of some guidelines about what the
station expected in the program, like length, technical stuff,
and what you could or could not do. We called the cable office,
they took our names and addresses, and said that a set of rules
would be forthcoming. And so we waited, and waited, and waited
some more.
While we're waiting, we start to get our show underway. The
first thing we do is to do a story promoting the Star Trek
fan club I belonged to (how geeky of me!). Ultimately the
footage didn't work in my mind. I just didn't know where to go
with it and considering the way our show has turned out now, it
would never have fit anyway.
We continue to wait for these public access rules. One Saturday
morning - we had stayed up all night at my mom's house - Chris
comes up with an idea to do for a sketch. My job was just to
follow him with the camera as he does his thing. In the short
bit that we did, he paces around the living room fretting over
the fact that the public access rules haven't come in yet. He
leaves the house and goes out to the mailbox where he talks to
the hollow inside of the mailbox about his woes over having to
wait what seems like an eternity for them to come. We eventually
reshot those scenes.
That same morning we also talked about how we were going to use
that footage for the show. Chris came up with the idea that it
should be the first thing we do on our first show. Somehow his
hyperactivity would lead into a big chase and fight scene
between me and him. At the end of this big, long, drawn out
fight, we're supposed to be laying around broken and battered.
Chris asks the pivotal question, "So, do you want to do a show?"
August 1993
After a few weeks of waiting, the public access rules still
haven't come in the mail. We decide to pay a visit to the cable
office ourselves to see if they had copies of them there and if
maybe they had just forgotten about little ol' us. They didn't
have them there either. Apparently what the problem was that the
guidelines were in the process of being rewritten. That's why
they were taking so long to get to us.
It just so happened that Dennis Myles, producer, star, and
generally our hero of the Myles of Smyles show, had an
office in the same building. If we hadn't come into the building
at precisely the right time we would have missed him. I know
this probably means nothing to most people, but to Chris and me,
it meant a lot. He offered us some advice. He told us that we
shouldn't bother to put our first episode on until we had three
of them done. He'd seen other people put their first shows on
without any backup and when the time came to put on the second
show, they didn't have one. So they basically lost their time
slots. You lose your time slot, nobody knows where to find you,
you don't garner any following. He also offered me some advice
about type of VCR I needed to have to edit the show with (a 4
head).
While we continued to wait for the public access rules we
continued to shoot some sketches like the Luke Perry interview
(episode 2) and a couple of moderator sequences. In one Brett
introduces a sketch which we still have yet to shoot about
cheesy public access music. Chris and Brett also do the last
moderator sequence in which they argue over how the name of the
show is supposed to be said, with the sniffle or not. We also
did the original beginning to our Que Clinic sketch (episode 3)
with me, Chris and Brett. With the exception of the Luke Perry
thing, none of that other stuff will probably make it to the
show.
By the end of the summer the public access rules finally came
in. Almost too little too late although it probably shouldn't
have.
September 1993
Chris and I get together to shoot a couple of scenes for our
mockumentary on grassrolling. We still haven't finished that
yet.
October 1993
Chris and I shoot the Soda Bottle in the Air thing (episode 3)
and part of another sketch we really haven't satisfactorily
completed that's supposed to be a movie trailer for a Steven
Segal movie. Chris also gets footage of individual footage of us
standing next to a tractor waving at the camera. He says that
he's not sure what he wants to do with it, but he'll figure out
something. We also do a moderator sequence that we've called The
Abrupt Angle Changes sketch. We're probably going to have to
reshoot that one.
Fall 1993
Chris and I don't get anything else done. We don't even mention
the fact that we were trying to get a show together. He and
Brett are still trying to get a band together and I've pretty
much removed myself from that scene because I'm so burned out on
it. Maybe there was something in the water affecting creativity
and people's motivations to be creative because by this time
Myles of Smyles is no longer on either.
December 1993
Our goal had been to get three episodes done by the end of the
year. At this point we didn't even have one. I even mentioned to
Chris, "You know what? We're definitely not going to get our
show done." His usual reply, "don't worry. We will. We'll figure
something out." We didn't.
Christmas was also coming up and mom took me around looking for
equipment so that I could edit my show with. I looked for video
edit controllers and VCRs with jog shuttles and audio/video
insert capabilities. I found nothing.
March 1994
During my spring break, I found a VCR that had all the
capabilities that I was looking for. It could even record and
play Super VHS tapes which was a big plus. Mom let me charge it
on the credit card and this piece of equipment recharged Chris'
and my interest in doing the show.
April 1994
Chris and I start having serious talks about trying to make a go
of "Sniffles" again. I've just heard about a video contest
sponsored by Sony through the American Film Institute. We decide
that our first big project is going to be that chase scene we
had talked about a year earlier. We had also just gotten
together to watch Duel. I knew that our chase scene could
work as it's own piece. Hey it worked for Spielberg. Why not us?
(You don't have to answer my retorical question, besides
I already know the answer). What we would do is that in the
version for the Sony contest we would shoot an alternate set-up,
a different catalyst for the chase, something that an audience
not seeing the show on public access would understand.
Chris managed to dig up Ziggy. Ziggy was all into the idea of
doing a show. He had a couple of shows that he wanted to do.
Both were sit-com type of shows. One was called Muffy's
Friends and the other was called Star Bar. Chris and
I liked Ziggy's ideas very much and we knew that we would have
to spend the upcoming summer working on all these projects. We
also shot a short sketch with Ziggy that we'll be putting on
soon.
The Chase Day 1
- By the end of the month we began full-blown production on the
chase scene. One Saturday afternoon, Ziggy was camera operator
on the reshoot of the scene where Chris goes out to the mailbox.
This time he's waiting for some Publishers Clearinghouse
Sweepstakes entry forms. We also shot the master shot of the
scene where I am introduced. I play Chris' roommate. I tell him
that the forms came in a couple weeks ago, but I threw them away
because they were "just junk." Very few people will probably
ever see this version which is unfortunate since I think it
works better than the version we put on Sniffles.
May 1994
That Monday after I got out of school for the summer, I spent
the day with Ziggy and his friend Kevin at his grandma's house.
Our intention was that we were supposed to get together later on
that night with another of Ziggy's friend's, Don, in order to
discuss how we were going to be spending our time trying to put
together Sniffles, Star Bar, and, Muffy's
Friends. Chris had to work that evening so he would have to
join up with us later.
We all got together late that night at a Denny's to talk about
what we wanted to do. It became clear that there might be
problems. Don seemed to have little time to get together to do
the show, and since he was the man with all the ideas, Ziggy
probably wasn't going to do it without him. Neither Chris or I
have ever seen Don since.
The Chase Day 2
- We all get together to continue with the chase scene. The
deadline for the Sony competition was June 15th so we needed to
get it done as soon as we could. There was one important lesson
I learned from this day: when shooting a sketch never have more
people around than is going to be necessary for that sketch.
Brett had come over with his fiancee, Sherry, and her daughter.
Ziggy and Kevin were also there. We shot a couple of close-ups
for the kitchen confrontation and then we decided to leave
Brett, Sherry, and Kevin at the house while Ziggy, Chris, Brett
and I go shoot one little scene we planned to do. In the scene
Brett is driving along in his car when he passes by Chris
chasing me. The scene in itself is not very important to the
narrative(what narrative) but I liked the idea so we did it.
Before we had went out to shoot this scene, Brett stopped off at
a gas station to get some cigarettes. As we were pulling out, a
cop pulled us over. Chris who was riding shotgun had not been
wearing his seatbelt. The cop was a bit of a prick to begin
with. The first thing out of his mouth was, "I need four id's
now!" Then he starts going into Brett about how it is his
responsibility as the driver to make sure that all his
passengers are wearing their seatbelts. Chris starts
interrupting the cop saying, "Sir, if you're going to give
anybody a ticket, give it to me." The cops response was, "I
wasn't talking to you, McGinty" Chris keeps interrupting and the
cop finally tells Chris to get out of the car. Ziggy and I are
thinking that Chris was going to get arrested right then and
there. Luckily the cop only chewed Chris out a bit and he let
Brett off with a warning. This cop provided the inspiration for
the Keeper of the Sign character that Brian Anthony plays in the
chase scene.
When we finally got back to the house, our intention was to go
to this one park by a lake that we had seen a couple of weeks
before on our way to Ziggy's house. We liked the location so we
thought it would be neat to have a sequence of our chase scene
go through there. Now we've got all these people with us like I
said before. I think the reason we had all of them was because
we were hoping to get a lot out of the way including the Keeper
of the Sign scene. The idea was that Kevin and Brett were to
play two of the natives and Ziggy was going to play the Keeper.
Chris had hoped that maybe Ziggy would have gotten a hold of Don
and he could have played one of the other natives. No such luck.
Having all of these people presented a bit of a problem since we
had nothing for them to do at that moment. But we all saddled up
in two cars(big mistake)to go to this park. Chris, Ziggy, and I
were in one car. While Brett, Sherry, and Kevin took another. It
was very clear that Kevin did not want to be with us. Everybody
in the second car all decided that they wanted to go eat, get
cigarettes, etc. They said that they would meet us out at the
park later. We knew the dangers of splitting up, but we really
didn't have time to wait around while the others did their
thing.
The shooting in the park went fairly smoothly. The only setbacks
we had were the fact that since there were children playing on
the jungle gym thing that we were using, every once in a while
they would happen to start playing where we needed to set our
shot up. So we would have to wait until they decided to leave.
We couldn't just tell them, "hey, kid. Get the f**k out of the
way."
We saved the shots where we had to run into the lake for last.
I felt a bit apprehensive about running into the water fully
clothed and doubted whether I could do it when the time came. I
also had this weird feeling that Chris would fake me out, have
me run into the water while he decided to remain on shore and
laugh his ass off while I was soaking wet. But none of that
happened. As we swam out we heard Ziggy yell something to us so
our immediate reaction was to stop swimming to hear what he was
yelling. Later when we watched the footage, we found out that he
was yelling, "keep going! Keep going!" All of this would force
us to have to find a way to edit out his voice for the final
cut.
The shoot at the park took us about an hour and a half. Ziggy
didn't understand why we were doing things the way we were, like
shooting things from all these different angles. I think it was
because of this that led him to believe that we really didn't
know what we were doing(we don't but it's probably not as bad as
Ziggy thinks considering that to this day, 3 years later, he
still hasn't seen the results of that day) Chris also later
would admit that he didn't know why we were doing things from
several different angles, but he went with it in the hopes that
it would come together somehow. To tell you the truth I didn't
know if it would work out either, if I could edit it so that it
would at least look halfway decent.
In any case, the second party never made it to the park. We
managed to find them a little later. Kevin was very pissed. He
didn't say anything per se, but we knew what was going on in his
mind. In fact I don't think I've ever seen Kevin since and that
was definitely the last time Ziggy would ever work with us.
The Rest of the Month
- I wish that I had kept a journal of what we did on what
specific days because it all has become kind of a jumble for me.
I think ultimately the whole shoot was just a jumble for us in
general. We had some basic ideas of what we wanted to do, but no
real definite plans. We would get together and do whatever our
train of thought took us. I generally know that there were
certain things that happened on certain days, but as far as
remembering which week they took place and which day came first,
that's another story.
Native Scene Day 1
- We managed to get Modester, Brian, Joe, Brett, and Danny Bard
together for the scene where the natives are first introduced.
We had a vague idea that we were going to do a Raiders of the
Lost Ark knockoff in which I find this bigger Dr. Pepper
bottle than the one Chris has been chasing me with, but as soon
as I get a hold of it, I'm surrounded by some natives who are
friendlies of Chris who manages to get the bottle away from me.
We planned to congregate at this one park that overlooked
Carswell Air Force Base(as it was still known at the time) to
shoot the scene. The problem was that Brett and Danny lived in
Arlington which is a thirty minute drive from the place we were
going to shoot. This wouldn't have been a problem except for the
fact that Sherry was giving us an hour and a half time limit for
our use of Brett because she wanted him home by the time dinner
was ready. This imposed time limit was completely ridiculous
mind you, but I'd better stop right there before I start going
into a rant about men who are heavily scarred by the all
powerful pussy whip and the women who wield it abusively.
With the travel time to and from the location this only gave us
a half an hour to shoot. Brian and Joe were already at the site
when we got there(thankfully). We were in such a hurry that we
didn't get to finish the whole scene like we had planned. Our
intention was to shoot the stuff where we meet the natives at
the Lookout Park and then drive 5 miles up the road to another
park that just so happened to be right outside Shello's driveway
to do the scene where the natives get stopped by the Keeper of
the Sign.
We didn't get to go to the other park and since we were so
rushed we didn't think out what we shot at Lookout Park. As a
result, it didn't cut together very well which was one thing but
also the fact that there was probably no way we were ever going
to be able to get that exact combination of four people together
for the second day. It would have seemed weird that you have one
set of natives for one set and then a completely different set
for the next. Just about all of the footage of that day was
scrapped. The only thing that made it was the shot of them
coming over the hill after me. I figured I could still use it
because the shot is far enough and doesn't last on screen long
enough for anybody really to notice.(Although Joe's long time
friend Michelle was able to spot him right off)
Native Scene Day 2
- Chris and I continued to shoot other things knowing full well
that we would have to pick the native scene back up. Chris
managed to round up some new natives: Randall, who was the
roommate of one of Chris' high school buds, Derek and Mike
Ratliff, who worked with Chris at Pizza Hut. We couldn't get
Modester for the day, but we planned it so that we could shoot
around him. We also had to get Brian who didn't get off work
until 5 or 6pm so that already put a crunch on the time
available to us because the sun would be setting only in a hour
or so.
The shoot went okay. Mike met us out at the Nature Center(the
park outside Shello's driveway). He was a little high at the
time and Randall had already drank himself into obvlivion
because of personal problems between himself and Derek, but it
didn't go too badly. I just wish the scene had been a little
more effective but you can't win 'em all.
Native Scene Day 3
- We went out the next day to get Modester's part in the scene.
We also got Mike back because we realized that we probably
should have put him into the background walking away after the
Keeper has told him to go because if we hadn't it would have
looked bad because all of the sudden he would have been
completely gone. Of course it might have fit in with the nature
of the scene anyway, but I think even we have our limits about
how much continuity stretching we're going to do.
Practice Edits
- One night during the second week I think I decided to see if I
could edit the footage together. Up until that point I wasn't
even sure if it would work or not. I had this really expensive
VCR, but I wasn't sure if I would be able to get accurate cuts
that looked good or not. I pieced together what we had at that
point and thankfully it worked out okay. I showed everyone who
was still involved at that point, basically Chris, Brett,
Sherry, and Chris Modester. Brett and Sherry exclaimed that it
was nice to see the footage pieced together because before then
they really didn't understand what we were doing. From then on
we've gotten into the habit of doing a rough edit of all our
footage whenever we shoot something to see if there might be
anything we need to reshoot or something we might have forgotten
altogether.
Trying to Get Ziggy Back
- We were nearing the end of our work on the chase scene. By
that time we had a name for it for the Sony contest(Chris and
Miguel: A Hate Story). We went back to Ziggy's house to see
if it just was our imagination that he really didn't want to
work with us anymore. He gave several excuses and he even took a
potshot at us. He offered us each a glass of tea and we took it.
He then asked if we wanted some lemon to go with our tea after
which he quipped, "Oh! I forgot. You have already have a lemon.
It's called Sniffles."
Dr. Pepper Bottle Duel Day 1
- By this time we only had a week to go before the June 15th
deadline of the Sony contest. We had shot the stuff of us
running through downtown Fort Worth to the Watergardens where
our duel was to take place during the first week of shooting. We
held of on the duel for so long because we didn't know what we
were going to do with it. I think we thought that we were going
to choreograph the duel over the month while we were shooting so
that we would have it ready when the time came, but we hadn't.
Chris and I pretty much had to work out how we were going to do
it when we got there.
Having to figure out what we were going to do killed alot of our
time. If we hadn't gone back to reshoot anything like we had you
would have seen it go from nearing sunset to completely pitch
black in less than thirty seconds.
One of my film teachers has a law of film production that says
that whenever you go out on location and are shooting sound that
as soon as you start rolling, an airplane will come out of
nowhere. That's kind of how it was where we tried to shoot
except it wasn't with airplanes. All of the other times when we
had come out to this particular locale there was nobody up there
to bother us, but that one day for some reason it seemed as if
there were all these families that decided to congregate on the
exact spot where we were shooting and have picnics and what have
you. Although the truth is that we could hear every once in a
while one of them say something that betrayed the fact that they
were curious about what we were doing. Fortunately none of them
ever ended up on our tape.
Dr. Pepper Bottle Duel Day 2
- We reshot the entire duel. This time we didn't have problems
with families or kids or the sun setting. However we couldn't
figure out how we were going to show us fall off the ledge
again.
Dr. Pepper Bottle Duel Day 3
- We went back out to see if we could solve that nagging problem
of how we could convincingly show us falling off the ledge. We
came up with the solution of setting the camera on a secondary
ledge shooting up to the top ledge as Chris and I roll off of
it. The drop would be fairly short and when we fall out of
camera range nobody would be able to tell that we had only
fallen a distance of about three feet.
The Falling Scene
- We went into my backyard to try to shoot our descent from the
ledge to the ground. Chris decided to try setting the camera out
an extemely low angle while we jump over it. It didn't work too
well because we only appeared as flashes in the footage when we
jumped over it. Our final solution worked out a lot better and
is probably one of the only funny things about the whole chase
scene since it gets the biggest laugh right next to the whipped
cream bit. We lay on our stomachs on a stool I have and placed
the camera at a low angle so that all that could be seen was the
sky. To get the effect of us falling we placed a fan underneath
us so that our hair would blow. If you look closely you can see
the telephone wires in the background of our individual
closeups.
When we edited that scene we thought it would be funny to
intercut other scenes to give the idea of our lives flashing
before our eyes. It also gave the Chris the opportunity to use
that footage that we had shot of us standing by the tractor.
Chris said, "I told you we'd find a use for it."
June 14th, 1994
- With only one night to go before I had to have the tape in the
mail for the Sony contest so that it could be postmarked for the
15th like they require, we finally got around to scoring it. The
both of us had been playing around with some musical ideas the
entire month and tonight was finally the night to see if it
would work or not. The truth is we came up with a lot of it on
the spot and just recorded it like it was. By the time we got to
the part where he's chasing me through downtown Fort Worth, we
had just gotten so tired of trying to come up with anything on
the guitars that Chris decided it would work just as well to
have us vocalize that section of the score. It saved us a lot of
time. Chris edited the music onto the tape. We made a dub to
send off and then we promptly went to sleep.
June 15th, 1994
- I woke up around 3 o'clock to go to the post office. I just
let Chris sleep. I sent the tape off and we both waited for our
inevitable victory with the Sony contest(yeah right).
Que Clinic Day 1
- Our next big project after the chase scene was to finish up
the Que Clinic sketch we had started the previous summer.
Actually we didn't finish it up so much as we started all over
again. Chris had written an entirely new script this time
whereas before he hadn't really written anything. He just had
everything in his head and he would tell us what we were
supposed to do while he set up a shot. This time it was a bit
different. There would actually be some planning involved.
We pretty much figured that Brett would be a big impossibility
so Chris replaced him with his brother Sean who was down
visiting their dad for the summer. We also had Modester with us
to run camera and we also needed him to play a couple parts like
the doctor when they finally arrive at Que Clinic and some
passer-by who looks into the car, wondering what we're doing. Of
course we ran out of time so we didn't shoot the part where we
got to Que Clinic. I think Chris had to be to work so that was
that.
Although that same night I went over to Brian's house and that's
when we shot the Gangbuster Weekly sketch(episode 3) and another
sketch we had been talking about doing for a while parodying
those International Coffee commercials.
Que Clinic Day 2
- We reassembled everybody from the first day of the sketch(a
strange miracle) for the second day. We even had Chris' little
sister Kate with us. Before we finished up Que Clinic we went
out to a picnic area to shoot a scene for another show idea that
we had come up with called the Case of the Disappearing Cast
and Crew, inspired a great deal from our experience working
on the chase scene. Unfortunately that's the only scene that has
been shot so far for that particular show.
From there we went to Chris apartment to shoot the scene where
Sean and I carry Chris into the clinic and where we meet with
Modester who plays a doctor there. In order to keep the
apartment from looking too much like an apartment we had to
shoot everything from low angles so that all that could be seen
were the ceilings. Of course this wasn't too much of a problem
because as Chris has pointed out I have a fondness for low
angles.
We then went to my house to get a couple more shots that we had
neglected to get like everything dealing with Chris flying out
of the car and his landing up on the top of the roof.
Que Clinic Day 2
- We seem to have a problem of not getting everything done for
particular sketches the first day we get together to do them.
For the life of me I can't figure out why it took us three days
to shoot Que Clinic. On this last day we got the shots of Chris
landing on the ground after being thrown from the roof and the
stuff where he sees the approaching car about to run over him.
Did I say last day? Well the truth is that the last day of
shooting for this scene wouldn't come until about two years
later. We still had to get one last shot of Chris' car entering
the parking lot of Que Clinic.
Public Access Version of the Chase Scene/Laundry Thing
- Chris came over to the house with his brother in tow so that
he could operate camera for us. We shot the version of the chase
scene that we had intended for the public access show. We also
shot the opening scene of the Laundry Scene at my house. Chris
didn't like the footage at all. He complained that we were
"trying to do some acting," but failing miserably.
July 1994
The Long Day of the Laundry Thing
- By this time Chris felt that we needed to spend as much time
as we possibly could working on the show. He came up with the
figure that if we were going to have enough material for three
shows worth by the end of the summer we were going to need to
clear about three minutes of usable footage a day. This meant
that out of everything we shot on any given day it would need to
come out to about three minutes of edited show time. To that end
we needed to start doing some rigid scheduling and sticking to
it.
The first day of Chris' schedule called for us to work all day
and night on the laundry sketch that was going to go on episode
1. We started off by going to Shello's house to get her to play
the part of the friend who lives in South Carolina whom Chris is
going to try to get to wash our clothes. Shello was worried that
she wasn't going to be able to remember her lines, but she
generally got all of her lines within the first take. It was
from this day that I decided that from then on I was going to
carefully plan out every last shot of everything we were going
to shoot from then on. I had no idea where I wanted to put the
camera and as I found out later when trying to piece the footage
together it sometimes cut together awkwardly. We also didn't
finish the sketch because we had a hard time figuring out how to
stage the second half of the scene with Shello.
We didn't get to Chris' apartment until way after sunset.
Luckily Chris' wife, Melynie, was there so we would have someone
to operate camera. Having Melynie was a mixed blessing. It was
nice to have someone on camera so that we could have some
movement in the image if we wanted, but it was also a hassle
because whenever you get Chris around Melynie there is bound to
be some tension. She did the shots that we needed her for and
then she disappeared into the bedroom and we finished out the
rest of the scene.
Chris was also having problems with his downstairs neighbor.
Chris talked about how the neighbor would always come upstairs
to complain because of the fact that Chris's son Jude was just
beginning to walk and it created thumping sounds on their
ceiling. Chris said that it was perfectly alright for his
neighbor to have all these parties whose noise invariably sifted
up through the ceiling but his kid trying to walk was not.
Anyway in the scene where Chris and I fall to the floor after
taking off our sweaty shirts did not go unnoticed by the
neighbor. A few seconds after we hit the floor in that last shot
in Chris' apartment, the neighbor thumped on his ceiling in
response. Chris retaliated in anger with a few thumps back onto
the floor with his fist.
Chris Borrows the Camera
- I decided to spend a week up in Wichita Falls with Kim. It was
sometime after the July 4th weekend and her parents had gone out
of town to Las Vegas. In that time I let Chris borrow the camera
and it was during that time that he shot the Desert Storm Role
Playing Game sketch(episode 3) with his brother, Mr. Duckles and
Frankie(episode 4), The Land Mine sketch(episode 4), and
something that he never completely finished with himself in dual
roles as a frustrated guitar player and the Angel of the Amp who
comes to give him salvation.
The Hair Tie
- When I got back we decided to work on a sketch that Chris had
been written that was based on the idea that when you have long
hair, those little hair ties are like gold. I know I've been
caught in situations where I couldn't find one and it becomes
annoying when your hair keeps getting in your face.
This was the first sketch that I storyboarded out completely and
it helped because it saved a lot of time and frustration when it
came time to actually shoot the thing. There's nothing more
frustrating than when you're trying to shoot something and
you're not sure where you want to put the camera. With the
storyboards all that had been figured out beforehand. When
you're doing them you're not under the pressure of having to
figure out what you want to do before the sun goes down or
before somebody has to be to work and so on. It frees you up and
you can try to be a little more creative in your planning.
The only problem we had here was that the script wasn't entirely
finished. We had a beginning, but we weren't sure what to do
with the ending.
During one of my weekend visits to Wichita Kim took me to her
sister-in-law to get some of my hair trimmed. I was worried that
the trim would be noticable so I thought of an ending around
that. After we've watched the urine documentary(which we hadn't
shot yet) I decide that the only thing to do is to trim my hair
a bit. I imagined this little psuedo-heart wrenching scene as
Chris cuts my hair and then when it comes to be his turn he
can't go through with it and knocks the scissors out of my hand.
We end up in each other's arms crying which would seque into our
having a funeral for the hairtie. It would take us a long while
before we ever got back to that sketch.
Showing the Chase Scene
- We were damn proud of our first and at that time only
completed work. We tried to show it to everybody who would watch
it. We even had a screening at Brett and Sherry's wedding. Our
excuse was that Brett was in it even if only for a few seconds.
That was justification enough for us. Brett's family seemed to
like it. Sherry I think thought it was kind of inappropriate for
us to be showing our crap at their wedding, but hey we can't let
other people get all the attention.
Chris tried to show it to Lisa, his manager at Pizza Hut, but
she declined giving the excuse that she was going to be going to
bed or something like that. But then in almost the same breath
she asked Chris if he didn't want to come over because they were
probably going to be watching Ace Ventura. It shows you
how much amateur work is regarded by most folks.
Luke Perry Video Overdubs
- Since we were supposed to be getting three minutes a day,
Chris would come over every night after he got off work so that
we could attempt to work on the show. A lot of the times we got
absolutely nothing done. On one such night I decided that we
should try to do something more with that Luke Perry interview
we shot with Brett a whole year before. I thought that as it was
it was kind of dull, just Brett sitting there talking. I figured
we needed to get some reaction shots of Chris which we had
neglected to do before and it would be funny if in those shots,
Chris was paying absolutely no attention to what he had to say.
We spent about an hour coming up with the "design" for the
Sniffles pizza box which was a Pizza Hut box turned inside out.
We also came up with a name tag for the pizza delivery character
I was to be playing. The purpose of the tag was mainly to cover
up the Pizza Hut logo on the shirt I was wearing. If you look
closely the name tag reads, "H.Solo"
The Political Burp/World of Urine in a Minute
- These were done on another one of those nights when Chris came
over after work. Like the Luke Perry stuff we shot it in the
third bedroom of my mom's house that mom had converted into her
Buddhist shrine. Chris sat behind a desk and we did both bits.
The Political Burp was mostly improvised and the Urine thing we
actually wrote something for him to say. Chris had some ideas
for video overdubs that he wanted to do for the Urine thing. He
wanted to show the process of doing laundry to illustrate the
process of urinating. The only thing I remember was the final
step was "folding it and putting it away." Ulimately we just
forgot to shoot that stuff.
Three Minutes a Day
- By mid summer things started coming to a standstill and Chris
started throwing fits about how we were falling way behind
schedule. We would have big long discussion/arguments all into
the night about how he felt we needed to be a lot more serious
than we have been. Of course from my perspective of the problem
was the fact that this schedule we were so far behind on didn't
have any specifics of what exactly we were supposed to have done
by what time. The entire schedule consisted mainly of how many
minutes of show we were to have done done by what days going on
Chris' three minutes a day principle.
The problem with the three minutes a day goal wasn't necessarily
in not being able get that much done in a single day it was the
fact that a lot of the time we simply didn't have anything to
do. We had all of these little ideas that we had been tossing
around for the last year, but when we would get together none of
them were scripted. And the stuff that we did have scripted
required other people besides just me and Chris, but the problem
was that we didn't have the foresight to try to arrange time
with these other people a couple of days in advance. So what
would end up happening is that we would try to round up these
people at the very last minute only to find that they were
unavailable. Most of the time Chris would come over and we would
just lay about moaning about how we weren't getting anything
done. Meanwhile we weren't taking the proper steps to ensure
that maybe we could get something done on the next day, like
writing scripts.
There was one particular day I remember especially well because
there is some footage that represents how far down at the bottom
of the barrel we were scraping. I even identified that footage
on the tape on which it was shot as "Three Minutes a Day in My
Room." What it all amounts to is Chris would turn on my camera
and do some little corny 5 second jokes. They're not entirely
unusable and they will no doubt appear in various episodes in
the future.
August 1994
The Wandering Bard
- One night Chris came up with a stroke of brilliance. He
figured out how we could kill a lot of show time. He came up
with a little story involving two modern day/medieval type of
people who roam the country side in search of King Booger.
Chris' time killer involved several minutes of me walking
through a football field, onto a track, and finally up some
bleachers at which point I look directly at the camera and in a
faux British accent exclaim, "Do you get the idea that this
entire scene is a big time killer!"
Chris decided to have me do this entire walking thing in my
fairly heavy white collared short sleeve shirt while wearing a
big black overcoat that I had since high school all because it
was the closest thing we had to something that looked medieval.
Meanwhile it's the beginning of August and it's 100+ degrees
outside. After those preliminary shots we didn't do anything
else with it mainly because Chris hadn't scripted what was
supposed to happen next with my character's meeting his
character.
From there we picked up Modester from where he was working at
the time so that he could run camera on a series of shots of me
and Chris driving around in Chris' car(again just another way to
kill time). We got shots of us from Modesters perspective in the
back seat and then we would let him out of the car so that he
could get shots of the car as it passed by on the road.
Staying Up All Night
- Another one of Chris' kicks that he likes to get onto is his
constant complaining about how he hates sleep because it
interferes with how much time you have to get anything done. He
believes that if he didn't have to sleep he could get so much
more done. He won't hesitate to call me a wimp when I start to
complain about how tired I am and how I need to get some sleep.
Chris will tell me about how superior he is because he's managed
to stay up 32 hours in a row before, nevermind that fact that he
admitted to me that one time that on one of his days off, he
manged to sleep for 27 straight hours. It will catch up with you
no matter what.
One night Chris and were driving around in his car. The
objective was to get nighttime driving shots for the wandering
bard. Mainly we spent the night going around to convenience
stores and just all around wherever we happened to end up. Chris
got the crazy idea that instead of breaking up at 5 or 6 in the
morning like we would normally do, we should stay up for most of
the day after the sun came up. That way we could get a lot of
shooting done for the show.
Oh boy! Let me tell you how worth it it was to have stayed up
all night like we did. The only thing we got done was another
corny little bit, the Running to the Outhouse sketch(episode 4).
Again the problem wasn't the quantity of time we were trying to
spend on the show it was the quality. Staying up all night would
have been worthwhile if we actually had something to do. All
that came of it was that we were so tired that we couldn't even
think logically to get anything done. We ended up spending the
entire day taking Modester around to get a pee test for a new
job he was applying for and then going to the library to try to
catch some zzz's while we waited for some specific time to roll
around(I can't remember what it was).
The Tall Ad
- At one point we realized that our approach had been all wrong
with respect to getting the show done. From now on the schedules
would reflect very specific items that needed to get done. The
tall ad was an idea I had been kicking around since the previous
summer. I had finally completed my entire collection of Star
Trek comic books from the early 80s and I was finally going to
sit down and read them all(I had to wait until I had the entire
collection because there was no way I was going to get into any
of the storylines and then have to deal with the gaps that would
have been caused by a missing issue of two). Anyway there was an
ad in several of the issues, jumbled onto those pages that
featured x-ray glasses and the like, that featured a book that
was supposed to have excercises that you could do to expand your
height up to a full 6 inches.
At that time, Chris and I were very self conscious about our
heights or lack thereof(we're both only about 5'7) so the idea
came to me to do this sketch about a guy who sends away for the
book and becomes taller. It kind of pays homage to that one
cartoon where the two characters continue to drink a growth
potion until they are bigger than the world. My thought was to
do it completely silent.
So we asked a friend of my mom's, Mark Lamy, who was only a
couple of years older than me and Chris to be in the sketch. I
had decided that I didn't want to be in it because it would give
me greater freedom in setting up shots, so that I wouldn't have
to either explain to another camera operator what I wanted, or
in the case that we didn't have a camera operator, having to
settle for setting it up on a tripod and not having any
movement.
We picked a place where we wanted to do it being a beach on the
same lake just an eighth of a mile from the area where we had
shot us running through the playground just a couple months
before. I storyboarded the whole thing the night before and the
next day we set out with Mark and shot the whole thing. It was a
good example of how we needed to be working, precise, planned,
and without a lot of bullshit.
Mark seemed to be impressed with the fact that I did have
storyboards. However at one point he even suggested that we not
finish the shooting that day, but by that time we figured that
that was unacceptable. There were already way too many
unfinished sketches that were a result of our postponing their
completion. So we went ahead and finished everything we needed
to get done with Mark out on the beach.
Kick Me in the Crotch/Hostage Scene
Day 1
- Chris had the beginnings of another script that had been
inspired by some of Modester's ramblings about how if there were
black people on a plane that there would never be hijackings. So
we had ad libbed on the idea a bit. We knew that if we were to
do a dramatization of such a hypothetical hijacking there was no
way we could ever get on a real plane or even be able to go
through the expense of building a reasonable facsimile. We even
thought it might be funnier if we drew attention to the fact
that we didn't have such resources. Also since by that time we
knew there were very few people we could rely on to play all the
parts that were written so we would have to play most of them
between the two of us.
The other idea behind the script we were going to be shooting
was that it was going to be part of a larger tapestry. Each
sketch of the episode would intertwine so that it wouldn't be
simply a collage of random unrelated sketches that has pretty
been much the character of the show. We were hoping to have this
for our second episode and although episode two has taken on a
different shape we still haven't abandoned it entirely.
One night Chris and I got together as was our ritual. My mom was
working the night to morning shift so we had the whole house to
ourself. Before we got started we made a run to Albertson's to
pick up some nylon stockings. Leann, the woman we had become
very familiar with due to our frequent visits to that store,
gave us odd looks because of our purchasing choice.
When we got back we decided to shoot our first set of
characters, those of the innocent passengers on the plane from
whose viewpoint the hijacking is witnessed. I put on my suit
that mom had bought me for my high school graduation and Chris
put on a button up shirt, which is a rarity for him. This
spiffied uppedness is to distinguish those characters from our
normal sloganed t-shirt wearing selves. First Chris had me do
this thing that wasn't written into the script. Either he had
thought of it right then and there or he was trying to keep it a
secret even from me. Basically it's the Kick Me in the Crotch
bit and if we ever finish everything we're wanting to get done
for that episode you'll see what I'm talking about.
We used the garage as our airplane and we set up whatever chairs
we could find throughout the house. We shot all of the scenes
where the two innocent characters board the plane up to the part
where my character notices the two guys he suspects to be
terrorists.
After that we found two orange University of Illinois jackets
that my mom had in her big closet. They and the stockings we put
on our heads were the uniforms of the terrorists who are
supposed to be members of the Irish Republican Army. We shot
everything leading up to and involving the part where we try to
takeover the plane. We couldn't finish up that sketch until we
could get Modester to play his character.
Evening at the Lake/Hostage Scene Day 2
- One evening we were able to get Modester together for the
show. The first thing that we did was to go out to the lake to
shoot an idea we had been kicking around that had been inspired
by my experience two summers before. Essentially one day, Brett,
Danny, and I had been sitting around Brett's house all day
trying to come up with something to do instead of just sitting
around like we were doing. Come nightfall we decided to go
driving around and eventually we had come upon a lake that was
only about a mile from Brett's house. Of course! There was our
answer to our collective boredom. We could go swimming. The only
problem was that by the time we had figure it out it was too
dark. There was no way we could go swimming them.
We decided to turn that into a sketch. We went out to the same
lake we had been to on the previous outing and shot the segments
taking place during sunset and night. We would have to get back
together on another day to get the stuff in the morning and
afternoon. We never made it, so we had to reshoot everything
about two years later. And that's what you see in Show 2. (Hmmm
kind of ironic)
So anyway, mom went to work and we shot the stuff where
Modester, playing the hero known only as Black Man, confronts
the two terrorists and starts to beat the crap out of us.
Meanwhile we also got back into our innocent character outfits
to shoot the scenes where we start a cheering section for Black
Man.
My Eyes Are Ugly/Hostage Scene Day 3
- My mom and Chris just so happened to have the day off
together. We had planned all summer to go out to a hamburger
joint called Fatso's because they hosted a Battle of the Bands
every Tuesday night. Before we went there we shot a little bit
more for the Hostage scene. This time Chris got into drag so
that he could play the stewardess(or flight attendant for you pc
people out there). We also shot a scene where I'm trying to hit
on him and I complement his beauty (We're not gay. We really
aren't. He's supposed to be a woman. You know. Men in drag is
supposed to be funny. Ha Ha) but he plays all coy.
Dallas Video Festival
- The weekend Kim moved down from Wichita Falls to her own
apartment in Grand Prairie, mom had noticed an open call
advertisement in the Dallas Observer for entries into the
Dallas Video Festival. Thinking I had something really good with
the chase scene, I met with a woman named J.R. who worked with
the festival. I went up to her other job at a B.Dalton bookstore
in the mall. I gave her a tape and the $15 entry fee. Hey I
figured it was worth it. It wasn't like it was a contest or
anything.
September 1994
They Cute
- Another little idea we had come up with while making the chase
scene. Two women happen to see us on three consecutive days
working on the chase scene. They think we're attractive but
don't want anything to do with us because of the fact we're
slobs who wear the same shirt three days in a row. We got our
significant others together, Kim and Melynie, on a Saturday and
we decided to throw in an inside joke that I don't expect anyone
to ever get. Chris' wife finds me more attractive, while my
girlfriend likes Chris better. Another irony was the fact that
we hadn't thought about getting them to change shirts for each
supposed day they were seeing us, so it kind of makes them look
like slobs too because they're also wearing the same shirts on
three consecutive days.
The New Work Ethic
- Chris had become fiercely determined that the time for the
b.s. was over. We had let ourselves slip over the summer and we
hadn't gotten done what we had needed. We were going to finally
start cracking down on ourselves. We were going to come up with
a rigid schedule and we were going to stick to it. This meant
that we needed to find specific times every week when we could
write, storyboard, and shoot. On top of that we would also
impose deadlines on ourselves.
So for at least two weeks that I can remember, Chris made the
long drive to Denton from Fort Worth so that we could get
together in the computer lab in my dormitory in order to write
scripts. Actually he did most of the writing. I think I had some
papers to write. Once he was done with the scripts, he would
print them out and hand them to me so that I could work on the
storyboards. From these sessions, part of Wandering Bard was
written as well as a good portion of the original show 2.
Public Access Edit of the Chase Scene
- One of those deadlines that had to be met was the public
access version of the chase scene. Here I had to go back shot by
shot and re-edit everything like I had done back in June. The
only real difference between the two is the catalyst for the big
chase although as I have said before I kind of like the Sony
version better. Also this one didn't have the music. We tried to
edit the music from the original version onto the new one, but
there was enough of a difference, minute as it may seem, in the
pacing that the music didn't fit quite as it should have. We
would have to get together some time to rescore the scene.
Trying to Get Other People
- We also talked about bringing other people into our mess. We
had limited success with this. Most of our friends thought
trying to get a show done was a cool idea, but were downright
unenthusiastic when it came time to actually shoot it. And a lot
of times they weren't very interested in it creatively. What the
problem was, we figured, was that we were only using them
because we knew them and they were therefore convenient. But the
reality was they weren't as interested as we were. What if we
could find people who were as dedicated to the show as we were?
It was perfect. I lived in a dormitory full of artists and film
majors. Surely there would be someone else we could bring in to
the fold.
To that end we made up a couple of flyers advertising for people
to join us in our quest to make this public access show. We went
around to all of the dorms on campus and put them on the
bulletin boards. We got a couple responses, including one from
the school newspaper.
October 1994
Our First Newspaper Interview
- One of the reporters for the school newspaper, The NT Daily,
had seen one of our flyers and thought it would be a good idea
to interview us. I set up a time when Chris could be there as
well and we met with this guy who asked us questions about
public access and what we were trying to do. The
article appeared a couple
days later. Our egos were stroked a bit. On top of that we got
more responses in our quest to get other people for the show.
Meeting the New Sniffles Candidates
- I got a few calls because of the article. Whenever possible
Chris and I tried to meet them together. One guy was an aspiring
screenwriter and had brought a script he had written for Mad
About You that he was going to try to sell. The only problem
was that upon talking to him, he didn't seem to have time at all
for the show. To us it seemed more like excuses than anything.
His deal was that he was going to school full time, but so what?
I was going full time as well. You don't actually spend that
much time in class. Maybe the truth is that he just didn't like
us once he had met us. It's been fairly common.
Chris and I had the idea of trying to assemble everyone that had
called at one place at one time. I set up the date and told
everybody to be there. Chris recently told me that he is the
only one who will not flake when it comes to artistic pursuits.
Whenever you set up a place and time, he will be there. Well not
this time. So had to handle these few people who showed up by
myself. It just so happened that I knew some of them anyway. One
guy was in my pre-cal class and another was Eric Chuang whom I
had seen around campus and with whom I'm still acquainted.
I brought them to my room and I put on the chase scene. They
didn't seem to be very interested in it. I could tell and I made
the suggestion that we could turn it off and one guy agreed more
enthusiastically than my ego would have liked for him too. The
guy from pre-cal hung around for an hour and we tried to come up
with some ideas. I don't think anything clicked and I haven't
talked to any of them ever since, except for Eric although we've
never formally worked on the show together.
He did make an indirect contribution though. About a year later
he would ask me to play a cop in his final project for the
beginning film styles class which I would in turn use as what
Chris is watching on the tube in my final project(Un
Nuit..., episode 4)for that class the next semester.
The Results Are In
- The month of October brought a double-whammy to my artistic
ego. On the Sony contest we didn't even place as a runner-up or
honorable mention or anything. They did send a blank Sony VHS
tape as a consolation. I also got a rejection letter from the
Dallas Video Festival. It was signed specifically from Bart
Weiss whose name I had heard around my campus when he came to do
a lecture one time. He said that he liked the video(I bet he
says that to everybody), but there was no place he could find
for it in the festival. Hopefully, he said, it might have chance
in the Texas Show portion of the festival which would be
starting next month
This was the big wake up call for me that told me that we
weren't as good as we thought we were. While it did bring down
the ego quite a bit, I think that at least has had a humbling
effect.
Finishing the Laundry Thing
- One Sunday afternoon, Chris and I went to find Shello so that
we could finish up her part in the sketch we had begun a couple
of months before. By this time she had moved out of her mother's
house by the nature center and was living with her new
boyfriend. We almost had to drag her out of the apartment. She
seemed kind of reluctant to leave the apartment at first, but
she relented. We went back to the house which had changed a bit
since we had last been there. Their picnic table had been moved
so that it was in front of the garage, and that was kind of a
good thing since it became more apparent how we could set up the
second part of our dialogue with Shello. We would just sit at
this picnic table and talk. Not as inventively staged as I would
have liked for it to be, but at least it works for me.
Recording the Theme Song
- We were still showing the chase scene to anybody and everybody
who would watch. Among my college friends, it was met with blank
stares. Mike Fonseca who had just moved into the room down the
hall from me remarked that it started out okay and "kicks a lot
of ass, but it just goes on and on, and you're like goddamn!
It's funny at the end when you're falling, but you have to go
through all that other stuff to get to it." Nevertheless he
expressed an interest in doing the music for the show if we ever
wanted. He happened to play drums and when it came time to
record the theme song that Chris had been toying with for over a
year, we enlisted his services.
One night we dragged his drums into a cubicle that my dorm had
set up in the basement for people to practice in because with
the close proximity of the dorm to the music school there were a
lot of music majors living there. We recorded him hammering his
drum track for the theme song on my 4 track which Chris is still
borrowing to this day. We took his drums back to his room and
for the rest of the night Chris and I recorded all of the other
parts which were essentially both of our guitars and we went
ahead and used the piano that was in the cubicle.
Hostage Scene Day 4/Piece of Meat/Show 1 Completed (Almost)
- And so we trudged on with the hostage scene. We could never
seem to get everything done all on the same day. I met Chris out
at Randall's apartment complex. When we had been doing the
second day of the Native scene, he had pointed out what is
probably the most useless staircase ever built. It leads right
directly into a fence. Chris figured that we had to do something
with it. So we used it as the staircase that leads directly into
the plane of the Hostage scene. We also used it for this idea
that Chris had to shoot fake outtakes of the chase scene. In one
of those scenes, he chases me up the staircase from where we are
transported into an alternate universe. We haven't gotten to the
alternate universe part yet.
From there we went back to my mom's house to shoot the closing
sketch of the show. In that scene I'm seeing Chris out to the
door but before he leaves I go to the fridge to get something
for him. The idea was to do a sketch like this for every show.
It was based on this thing I had seen on the door of one of my
professor's office. It was this article telling about often
confused lyrics of popular songs. One of those lyrics was to
that song that goes, "every time you go away, you take a piece
of me with you." The article said that people often confuse it
with, "everytime you go away, you take a piece of meat
with you." I had told Chris about the article. He thought it
particularly funny and wanted to incorporate it into the show.
So there you have it. Chris might not like that I gave the joke
away, but if you've ever been wondering what those sketches are
about, that's what it is.
With everything that was needed to be done for the first episode
effectively complete, it was high time that we started working
on our opening credits. Before Chris had to leave for work, we
inputted the 4 track into the VCR and recorded the theme song
right after the re-edit of the chase scene. We also hooked up my
Tandy 1000 computer that we had used to do the credits for the
original chase scene and did a screen featuring everybody's name
that had acted in the show. We then went and found individual
shots of all the cast members and put that in as well so that
each image of the person preceded their name. We've pretty much
stuck to this method although now we don't use the Tandy
computer anymore.
Write A Script! Night 1
- We had gotten a little lax in our "rigid" scheduling, but
Chris came up to Denton one night, having just finished a script
based on all of our conversations we had been having over the
summer. We both knew that what had went wrong with the three
minutes a day thing was that we had nothing to do all of those
times. I knew it then, but I finally convinced Chris of
it(That's just my viewpoint. I'm sure the truth is somewhere
between his viewpoint and mine).
We went out to the middle of the campus. We didn't have a camera
operator to walk with us as we're talking which is the way I
would have liked to have shot it, so instead we opted for
shooting each other's close-up as we're walking and talking. If
you'll notice there's never a travelling shot with the both of
us in the frame together. We managed to get some external camera
movement when another guy who lived down the hall from me, Brian
McIntosh, passed by us while he was riding his bike through
campus. We got him to do the long panning shot of us as we're
passing by the bench. He did that for us and then he rode off on
his merry way.
We dubbed him Disappearing Brian because at one point Chris and
I were deep in discussion about how to set up the scene.
Meanwhile Brian was circling the platform we were on on his
bicycle. We weren't paying attention to him because we were into
our own thing, but we were highly aware of the sound being made
by the bike. Then all of the sudden the sound stopped. Chris and
I realized that it had stopped rather abruptly and we looked
around only to find that Brian had vanished. He showed back up a
little while later so it's not like he went through some
cross-dimensional vortex or something, but we still can't
explain it to this day.
Anyway we shot all the way to the part where we go sit on the
bench at the bus stop. We only got half of the long shot done
before the tape ran out. I hadn't thought to bring an extra
blank tape with me so production was effectively shut down for
the night. We could have went out for another tape, but we
figured by the time we did all that it would be way too tired.
Write A Script! Night 2
- Chris came up the following night and we finished up at the
bus stop. There was also another scene we needed to shoot
outside and in the dorm. While we were outside, this girl took
an interest in what we were doing and asked if she could help
out. Her name was Dawn Bartek and she ran camera on all of the
shots at the dorm.
Larry Maher
- He was one of the guys who responded to the article in the
paper. I don't know what he's doing now, but at the time he was
a recent graduate of UNT and he had just started his own
production company, shooting promos for law firms and that sort
of thing. He got together with me and Chris in my dorm room one
night and we watched each other's stuff. Chris and I liked him
and his work and we thought he thought that same of us, but
we've never seen him since. I had even left a message on his
machine, but he never called back.
November 1994
Show 1 Moderator Sequences
- Chris and I decided that since Dawn had seemed interested in
working on our show we would go ahead and use her as a camera
operator whenever Chris came up to Denton. So one night we got
her to shoot the moderator sequences for show 1 with us although
there wasn't any camera movement so it didn't really matter if
there was anyone behind it anyway. I guess we just kind of
wanted to have Dawn hanging around with us. It's not very often
that we get a female presence on the show.
Will You Go Out With Me Now?
- On another night we had Dawn act in one of our sketches. It
was an idea we had kicking around for a while since the previous
summer as I recall. It was based on one of my usual rants at the
time about how I wasn't getting laid and it never seemed like I
would ever have a girlfriend. This was how much of a loser I
was. There was this girl Christie who was part of our little
neighborhood clique back in high school. She had managed to date
every guy in the neighborhood, except for, of course, me. So
Dawn's character in the sketch is kind of based on Christie
except for the fact that I had never put the serious moves on
Christie to begin with, so that's why I probably never scored.
Dawn seemed a little nervous about being on camera and it kind
of shows in the footage a bit. On top of that I'm putting my arm
around her so that probably wierded her out even more. We had
only known each other a short while and that was the closest we
had ever been. But it all kind of works in its own favor. My
character is invading her private personal space and so it comes
off a little more naturally.
El Redundant Burritos
- This sketch was something that was going to go on the Original
Show 2. It was a commercial for a product that is so cheap that
single guys living on their own will eat them so much that
they'll get sick of them, but they'll have little choice since
it's about all they can afford. We went to my mom's house on a
Saturday afternoon. I storyboarded it when we got there. We shot
it and that's about it.
What is a Texas Show Without Our Show?
-
My tape came back from the Dallas Video Festival. It had been
rejected for the Texas Show. J.R. sent a letter with it. She
hadn't seen the tape, but had remarked that there must have been
something to it because the judges even watched it twice to see
if they could find a place for it, but they just couldn't. I
wish I knew what that had meant. Was watching an entry twice a
rarity? Did they watch it twice because they liked it, but it
turned out that it didn't fit in with a time length or even
political posturing of the festival? Or did they watch it again
just to see if they could figure out what the hell was going on.
Here's my impression: "I can't believe those idiots actually
tried to enter this garbage into the festival. What were they
thinking? Let's watch it again to see if there's something we
just didn't get."
Roommate from Hell Day 1
- Part of the Original Show 2 was a segment dealing with two
roommates, one of whom is very possessive of their friendship to
the extent that he does not like outsiders whatsoever. Chris
plays the possessor and I play the possessee. The sketch
involves what happens when my character tries to go out on a
date.
For this sketch Chris had managed to base it on separate
experiences that both of us had. Mine was a couple of years ago
with a particular friend who didn't like me hanging out with
other friends. During my junior year of high school, I had
started getting acqainted with a girl. The thing about it was
that this was a girl that he had not known or had tried to set
me up with which was highly unusual. He told me point blank, "I
don't like the idea." The fact of the matter was there was
nothing to like or dislike about it. He didn't know her so it
wasn't like he was trying to protect me from her evil ways or
something. It was simply a matter that he had to be in control
of every aspect of our friendship and in this case he had none.
Chris' situation happened a couple of years later. There was a
girl he had started hanging out with. They weren't dating or
anything since at the time Chris was probably still very
committed to his marriage. It was just a friend to do stuff
with. Well she had a male roommate. He was just her roommate,
nothing going on, just someone to share the rent with, but
apparently he had a possessive streak in him too. Chris had went
by their apartment to pick her up because they were going to go
bowling or something like that. He was talking to the roommate
about their plans. After a short time the roommate said, "well,
I'm ready," practically inviting himself along for the excursion
not really an ideal situation as far as Chris was concerned.
That was essentially the basis of that particular script. One
Saturday afternoon while Kim was at work, Chris and I got
together at her apartment and shot the introductory bit where
he's watching tv and then addresses the audience up to the part
where there's a knock at the door and I run to answer it. We
also shot the part where I take Chris in the bedroom to confront
him on his being ridiculous. That was pretty much all we were
able to get that day as the rest required Kim who like I said
was at work.
Roommate From Hell Day 2
- We got back together at Kim's on a Friday a couple of weeks
later. It was the week Stargate came out as I recall. We
shot everything that we could involving Kim's arrival to the
apartment and how badly Chris handles the situation and my
subsequent anger. We have the same problem as we did the first
night we tried to stage the Dr. Pepper bottle fight scene where
we got together so late in the day that you can tell how the
sunlight seems to disappear faster than it normally would. We
let it slide that time since everything was shot inside anyway
and at that point I really didn't care and I still don't since
it seems as if no one will ever see any of this.
Sneezing
- Chris stopped by the apartment on the following Sunday.
Instead of continuing on with the original sketch, which would
have involved going out to a fast food place, we confined
ourselves to the apartment to minimize time since Kim and I were
planning to go out shopping and to the movies. The script Chris
had was based on an incident that had happened in the summer of
'93(a lot of inspiring stuff seems to have happened during the
summer).
Chris and Melynie had come over to my mom's house one evening
and they had sent us out for something. We couldn't leave
because I could not for the life of me find my wallet. We
searched just about every logical possible place we could think
of. Meanwhile you know how women are. They will hammer it into
you until the day you die about how inept men are at keeping
track of things and they will use that as a means to give them a
superior status especially if they are the ones who manage to
find what it is you have lost. Melynie pulled it on me that very
evening. I asked, "oh and you've never misplaced anything in
your life?" Her response was a way too overly self assured "no."
How high and mighty of us.
As it turned out they found my wallet while we were out. It had
been sitting under a big giant Webster's Unabridged Dictionary
which had been sitting on a stool. Gosh! Why didn't I think to
look in that oh so obvious of places? Chris and I had thought of
several variations on that idea, but the one hewrote the script
for this time involved a married couple whose life is falling
apart because they've lost their checkbook, their cat, and a few
other things. They're sitting around talking about all their
woes(Chris wrote it so that we would try to sound as overly
dramatic as we possibly could)when I start having a sneezing
fit. As a result I start ejecting all of these lost items from
my nose and there is a happy ending. We only shot the first part
since there wasn't a lot of time, so all of the sneezing stuff
never got done. We'll probably wind up reshooting everything
anyway.
Sean Schemmell
- Yet another guy who had responded to the paper article. An
interesting note: it just so happened that he was the older
brother of a girl, Jessica, who I went to high school with. He
lived out in Dallas and commuted to UNT. It took us several
weeks before we actually got to meet him because he was so busy.
But one evening Chris and I went out to his apartment and showed
him the entire first episode. He didn't seem to be too impressed
with our work. He commented that we weren't very convincing as
actors except that he did like Brian's portrayal of the Keeper
of the Sign. Nevertheless he still seemed excited to work with
us. Of course we never saw him again either due to circumstances
which I will get to very shortly.
Death of the Camera
- It was another of those nights when Chris had made the trip to
Denton. We got Dawn and we were setting out to shoot something.
We were walking out of my room when the camera fell out of the
bag which I hadn't realized was not zipped up. It only fell
about two feet, but the impact was enough so that the thing
didn't work.
December 1994
The Resurrection of the Camera
-
My mom put it into the repair shop at the Incredible Universe
where we had bought it and we waited. "We'll have an estimate by
the end of the week." Well two weeks go by and then finally the
estimate. "We should have it fixed by next week." Next week,
"it's not ready yet, maybe next week." It was about a month
before I got it back. It may as well have been an eternity
because the opportunity to try to get a lot of stuff done over
the Christmas break was lost.
The Death of the VCR
- It was New Year's Eve and Kim had a party over at her
apartment. I had brought the VCR from my mom's house and I had
left it out in the trunk of Kim's car. I had brought it over so
that I could show Chris the work I had done editing the Original
Show 2. I had set the VCR on the floor which was a big mistake
because Chris' son Jude seemed to think that it was a platform
for him to stand on.
When I finally came to my senses and got the VCR off of the
floor, I put in the Super-VHS master that contained Chris and
Miguel: A Hate Story, Episode 1, and the first three minutes
of the Original Show 2 only to have the machine start eating it.
When we finally got the tape out it had snapped in two. I blamed
Jude's having stood on the VCR as the reason, but the truth is,
as I would find out almost a year later, is that VCRs have the
tendency to do this when they are extremely cold. I hadn't let
the thing warm up enough before trying to use it, so it was my
error. Sorry Jude.
Of course had I realized this mistake I could have avoided the
hell that was the absence of my beloved editing VCR while it too
got the repair shop runaround.
February 1995
The VCR Returns
-
Finally after what seemed like an eternity, my VCR was back from
the repair shop. The reason it had taken so long was not really
the reason I had taken to get it repaired in the first place.
Only a few months after I had gotten the VCR there was a problem
where if I outputted to the TV using the coaxial cable the
picture was snowy, but it didn't really matter because I just
went ahead and used the RCA outputs instead. The delay was a
result of the repair shop having to wait for a replacement part
to fix that problem. Oh well, so much the better.
I had also manged to splice the master tape of Hate Story
and Show 1 together. Luckily it had been destroyed only at the
point where I had started The Original Show 2. Even now I'm
extra careful to avoid playing the tape at that point. Whenever
I'm fast forwarding it or rewinding it I can hear where the bad
tape is. Hopefully the day when I can transfer all of that to a
digital medium won't come after the tape finally gives out.
March 1995
The Whataburger Discussions/Duties of the Duo
- With our tools in order again, Chris and I got back to the
topic of our show. Every Sunday night, before I headed back to
Denton for the week, and after Chris had gotten off work for the
night, we planned to meet at Whataburger. While Chris ate
taquitos and I had the jr. hamburger meal, we would plot the
course of our efforts, discussing scripts and story ideas and
that sort of thing.
Again we tried to figure out where we had been going wrong, why
nothing was still done. And we came to the conclusion that a big
problem of ours was not finishing what we started. On top of
that we had a problem getting started whenever we did get
together. I called it the "B.S. Factor," which was that lovely
little thing where when we got together we would always take up
time talking about other stuff instead of getting down to work.
To alleviate this problem we were going to have to be aware of
it at all times. And we would force ourselves to finishing a
project once we got started on it. We couldn't start anything
else until we had that done.
Eventhough we had a whole slew of sketches that needed to be
completed, like the ill-fated Original Show 2, we decided that
the first order of business was to start the summer like we had
the last, by doing a long project that we could possibly enter
into the Sony Contest. Once we were done with that. according to
the schedule Chris drew up, called The Duties of the Duo, we
would start working on all the incomplete stuff
April 1995
Writing the Script
- Over the duration of all this, I would sit at my computer and
come up with story ideas. One of them was a purely stream of
consciousness kind of thing. Using my and Chris characters as
the basis I just made up the outline as I went along. There was
no real point to the story, but we needed an excuse to make a
movie for the summer and this was it.
I showed Chris my outlines at Whataburger to get his input on
it. And he made some suggestions for changes. First of all I had
intended for the part of the guy who gives a ride to always be
Brian and that's how I imagined it. I'm not saying that Chris
had that changed, but for the purposes of discussing the changes
to the outline I will refer to that character as Brian.
Actually I hadn't really decided how I wanted to end the thing
in the original outline. I had listed several options. What I
had planned for was while he was giving us a ride Brian would
start ranting about how he just lost his job because of
affirmative action. And he would refer to minorities, mainly
Hispanics, with just about every racial slur he could think of.
My original thought was that it would only be merely an
uncomfortable exchange. You weren't sure what this guy would do
and then he probably wouldn't do anything, just drop off us and
that would have been it. Kind of my trying to do that self
important socially conscious Spike Lee/John Singleton thing
except only with a Hispanic slant. I'm kind of glad it didn't
work out that way.
There were some other options I had written at the end of the
outline and it was one of those that Chris had liked the best.
At the end Brian does indeed turn out to be more than just talk
and he ends up killing us.
Once I had the outline ready, I started out writing the
dialogue. Sometimes the dialogue itself would dictate how the
rest of the story would go. For example I wanted my character to
be talking to Chris' character over the phone. So I had to come
up with some chit-chat and so what better way to do it than to
put my own words in my mouth. In this case that would be my
theological views. It was because of that we decided that maybe
that would be the half ass central focus of the story: How Chris
tries to prove that his beliefs in the higher powers and the
afterlife are indeed correct.
I think the preparation for this project was the most determined
I have ever felt and that was because we had a very real
deadline. If it didn't get done by the 15th of June then we
wouldn't have an entry for Sony. I wrote the script in about a
week and a half and had Chris look over it. I had hoped that he
would be offer suggestions for things to change, but instead he
added more to it, like the exchange that goes on when Chris
comes to pick me up for the road trip and the details of what
all is wrong with his car.
Once the script was written I set about doing the storyboards.
Here I cut loose. I designed it so that there would be camera
movement all over the place in the hopes that we would always be
able to round up a camera operator. Sometimes we would have one.
Sometimes we wouldn't.
Phone Discussion Scene Night 1
- The third week of April, I met Chris down in Fort Worth on a
Monday night. This was an oddity for me to go all the way down
there on a school night but I was convinced that if anything was
to get done I would have to make these sacrifices. Before we got
to work we went out with my mom. This was an acceptable
diversion since we hadn't planned to shoot anything until the
sun had set anyway. Mom took us out to a hardware store and she
bought me a workman's halogen light so we could use it for the
shoot.
Mom went to bed and Chris and I shot my end of the introductory
phone conversation and just about everything that involved me in
my mom's house at night. So far so good. I hadn't looked at the
footage at this point anyway since I wouldn't be able to cut it
together until I had Chris' part shot.
Phone Discussion Night 2
- The following Monday, we got together at Chris apartment to
shoot his part of the conversation. We also had a part for
Melynie in there too as the nagging wife who tries to get Chris
off the phone so he can come to bed. This little exchange was
based on an incident during the summer of '93, when Chris
actually had his phone hooked up.
He was talking to me late one night and Melynie's mother was
staying over there. One thing led to another and they started
bitching him out together. I could hear her mother tell him,
"you are such an asshole." Melynie then tried to get Chris off
the phone because it was poor form for them to be having a
crisis and Chris to be on the phone talking to his friends.
Melynie at one point yelled so I could hear it, "if Miguel was
any kind of friend, he would hang up the phone." Nevermind the
fact that it was Chris who had called me and who was also
refusing to hang up anyway. After we hung up four hours later,
Melynie called me back up and asked, "why didn't you hang up the
phone?" Like it was my fault that I was keeping Chris from
getting his full bitching out. Chris didn't want to hang up. I
asked, "what kind of a question is that?" After a brief silence,
I hung up.
So anyway what I had planned to do in the scene was never to
show Melynie's face. There were two shots, one where you see her
back in the foreground in front of Chris and another where you
see a close-up of Chris with Melynie way out of focus in the
background. There were a couple more scenes involving the
character of Melynie where you never see her. I guess it was
kind of my commentary of sorts about how women have no place in
the world of the boys when they're at play.
Melynie was kind of reluctant to do anything on camera. She
didn't want to have to memorize her lines and she didn't seem to
give the proper emotional response like anger. But Chris kept
yelling at her because of her complaining. It eventually worked
so that she really did get mad and delivered her lines fairly
convincingly. As soon as the last take was over, Chris lightened
up and kissed her. Apparently he had been trying to manipulate
her the entire time into giving the right performance. Too bad
we had to cut it out.
May 1995
Journey into Artistic Hell
- So with practically the whole beginning of the movie shot up
to the point where Chris calls me from a payphone with his car
broken down, I did a rough cut of the whole thing. It turned out
terribly. We seemed to be half asleep during the phone
conversation. We had absolutely no enthusiasm. The scene didn't
flow like it should have according to my mind's eyes and ears.
It was a big disaster. I had shown Chris the assemblage when he
came for a surprise visit early one Monday morning at about 5
a.m. This was the first time I had met his current girlfriend
Jewel who was pregnant at the time by her future-
soon-to-be-ex-husband. Usually Chris would calm my worries by
saying, "it's actually not that bad." But not this time.
It felt as though my entire future, any hope that I would ever
have at being a success as a filmmaker was dying. This was just
plain bad. Maybe I was a talentless loser after all. We had
spent two weeks on this thing that was utterly worthless. There
was no way we could continue on the project now even after all
that time we had spent trying to get it ready. There was no way
we could get something going in time to have it ready by the
middle of June.
Reworking the Beginning
- Fortunately Chris had kept his head. While I had been
wallowing in my despair Chris had worked out a way we could
still work on that project and still salvage some of what we had
shot already. His idea was that since we were heading to the
afterlife maybe we could do the main part of the story as a
flashback of how we got to where we were going. Of course we
don't know where we're going at the point, but we start to
remember more and more the closer we come to the end of the
tunnel. That way we can almost narrate over the initial phone
conversation pick up with the main points and then talk through
the rest. It was brilliant. It would save us and when I cut it
like he suggested. Unfortunately we had to lose Melynie's big
scene and we have never told her that we had to cut it. Of
course she probably wouldn't even remember having done it anyway
nor would she remember what it was supposed to have gone with
anyway.
Brian's Part
- We had been telling Brian about his involvement in the project
for a while I had explained to him somewhat about his character.
I had planned for him to be a redneck type of person. So we got
together on a sunny Sunday afternoon in the middle of May(by
this time school was over for the summer)and he had changed his
hairstyle. Whereas before it had been functional and natural,
now he had a mohawk that he died a wierd color of yellow. He
definitely looked nothing like the redneck I had envisioned. But
what choice did we have? We didn't have time for his hair to
grow out to a natural form so we had to just deal with it. All
we got on that day was the conversation in the car which I might
add we had changed from being one by a digruntled redneck to a
redneck that wants us to bury a body for him and how he beats
around the bush when asking us.
June 1995
Vacation to Exotic Centralia, Illinois
- Production came to a halt because of the trip that my mom and
I had been planning for a few months already. It wasn't a big
problem because Chris and I knew it was coming up so we
scheduled so that we could get the summer project done without
having to shoot that week. It's a damn shame we didn't have that
week.
The plan was that we were going to fly to St. Louis and my
grandfather was going to drive up from Centralia, Illinois to
meet us for what was supposed to be a fun filled week of taking
in all the sites and scenery that St. Louis had to offer, like
the arches and the riverboat casinos. But we had planned well.
Around that time there had been another big flood in the
midwest, the second in a year which was odd because they usually
only happen once every century, but that was how my luck was
running that summer. We wouldn't be able to do a damn thing
because everything was covered in water.
So instead we spent the entire week bumming around my
grandfather's house in just another podunk town in middle
America. You had to drive 20 minutes to get to the nearest movie
theater. And the theater was a two-screener showing such really
good movies like Casper and Johnny Mnemonic. I
didn't catch any flicks that week. This is how bad it was. It
usually takes me about two weeks to a month to get through a
novel. I managed to read Planet of the Apes and had
finished Carrie while we were waiting at the airport at
the end of the week.
Recasting Brian's Part
- The Saturday after I had come back we resumed the shooting of
the porject. The first thing on our agenda was to get all of
Brian's stuff out of the way. We stopped by his apartment around
11 a.m. When we got there he was ready to leave with Kendra to
go to K-Mart and then they were going to her parent's house. We
begged and pleaded for him to be able to do the show, because we
needed to do it badly. Kendra agreed to let Brian off of his
leash for the day but they absolutely had to go to K-Mart
together. He would be back by noon. So instead we went to eat at
McDonald's.
When we returned at noon, Brian and Kendra still hadn't
returned. I made several pages to him to call me on my car
phone, but he didn't call back. We waited for an hour and a half
on the front doorstep to his apartment. This was bad. We didn't
have much time before the project needed to be finished and one
of our principals was conveniently gone.
Lucky for us, Chris had his brother-in-law Brandon tagging along
with us. We also had Modester because he was going to do double
duty as the camera operator and as the dead body in the trunk.
Our best option would be to recast Brian's part altogether, so
Chris and I tried to convince Brandon to do it. He was
reluctant, but we assured him that we wouldn't make it too
difficult on him. It worked out for the best anyway because
Brandon looked more the type anyway. I still couldn't get past
Brian's hair and Brandon already kind of looked like he could be
a deranged white trash killer.
We went out to the little piece of land in Lake Worth where we
had found all of the junked tv's to shoot the scene where
Brandon pulls over to have us bury the body. We shot everything
where Modester is laying in the trunk and the beginning of the
fight scene where Brandon puts the gun to my head and where we
tackle him. We tried to get all of the stuff not involving any
dialogue out of the way first because Brandon was a little
nervous about having to memorize lines. We wanted him to get
used to the idea of being on camera.
So while we're shooting all this, the owner of the property
pulls up alongside the road to kick us off. We had thought the
land was public since it was right off the road and it was just
a small little clearing that has absolutely no use whatsoever.
We thought him to be a crazy kook because there was no way he
could own this land. We figured he just wanted to give us hell,
but he seemed adamant so we left. We found a cop and asked him
if he knew what the deal with that land was and apparently there
had been a call made about some kids on somebody's property so
we didn't go back there ever again.
A Change of Location
- The next day we got back together. We were going to have to
find another place in the middle of nowhere where we could
continue shooting. We found a place around Arlington. This time
we made sure we got permission so we asked a security guard and
he assured us that there would be no problem and thankfully
there wasn't.
We continued to shoot the rest of the fight scene, but we hadn't
reshot any of what we had done at the other location. So you'll
notice that this fight scene seems to take place in two
different places. We also did the dialogue stuff. By this time I
was starting to feel progressively worse. I was definitely
coming down with something. Chris kept trying to keep me up and
tried to convince me that it was in my head, but by the end of
our time there I could hardly stand up anymore. Chris let me sit
and he directed Brandon through all of his close ups where he's
telling us how to go about disposing of the body. I paid little
attention to what was going on as I was in a fever induced daze.
Sick Days
- We lost several more days that we could have been using to
finish the project which by that time we had titled The Less
You Expect the Better It Will Be. The title has a double
meaning. My character is being led by Chris to some mystery that
Chris is planning to unvail, so I shouldn't expect too much from
the excursion. It's true meaning however is that when you watch
the final result don't expect too much because you won't get
much. Anyway I felt awful, the worst I had ever felt in a long
time. My fever ran so high that my sleep was not too comfortable
because it was punctuated with delirium. The way things were
going with the project and with how bad I felt, thoughts of how
much of a loser I was continually ran through my head.
Apparently somewhere I had picked up a nasty rash on my arm and
this is what was making me sick.
"And that sir is a gun!"or In Trouble With the Law
- I finally got to feeling better by the time the weekend had
rolled around. We spent one day, back out on our second location
finishing up what we hadn't finished with Brandon. The next day
we went up the road from my mom's house where the cow patties
become more prevalent to 1.)shoot the conversation that takes
place in the car and 2.)to shoot the part where Brandon picks us
up from the side of the road.
It was the second part that was the problem. We decided to do it
around a newly developed residential area. There was an older
married couple out for their walk. They passed by us and asked
what we were doing. We explained that we were making a movie and
everything. They explained that they were part of some
neighborhood watch and that they had been having problems with
people breaking into houses. As we were leaving Chris complained
that all the cops whenever they break your balls for being
somewhere you don't belong always give the excuse that the area
has been especially hit by burgluries.
Anyway since Brandon had been driving my car the entire time I
didn't feel like switching out for the short trip home. We
stopped at a Stop N' Go so that Chris could get something to
drink and we conitinued on the main road that is part of the
route to my house. About a minute later, we were being pulled
over by the cops. Now I had no idea what was going on, but I was
especially worried because my car only had liability insurance
and didn't cover other drivers. I knew that we were going to be
in deep shit over that.
I didn't bother to look behind me to see what the cop was doing
as she was walking out of her car. Brandon who was looking
through the mirror knew that something very serious was going
on. He announced that she was approaching very cautiously with
her hand on her holster. Without coming up to the window, she
ordered Brandon to put his hands out the window where she could
see them and get out of the car. He went around to the back of
the car and she frisked him. I was about to wet my pants at this
point because I knew that for the last couple of days, he had
been carrying this pocket knife and I didn't know if it was
legal or not.
The cop then ordered me and Chris to put our hands up on the
seat. She told Chris and me to get out of the car and put our
hands behind our heads. She had us get on our knees with our
hands still behind our heads and she frisked us. Chris was
demanding to know why we had been pulled over. She didn't
answer. "We have given you identification, now you have to tell
us why you are pulling us over!"
By then her backup had come and he had his gun drawn pointed to
the ground. I was scared shitless. He barked out, "Where is the
gun?"
"Gun what gun?" I said. It was more like whimper because I was
worried that this cop was going to shoot all of us dead until he
found out. "We don't have a gun," Chris said. "I want to know
where it is!" the cop demanded. Almost at the same time we
realized that he must have been talking about the plastic toy
gun that we had been using as a prop. But in my fear I couldn't
remember exactly where it was. It was just a toy. We weren't
keeping track of it.
Finally one of us, I think Chris remembered that it was in the
hatchback. I confirmed it, hoping that the cop would find it and
let us go. "I'm not going to open the trunk..." Oh great we're
going to be here a while. "...Until you get back away from the
car!" What a relief. I was worried that the cop was going to
prefer to interrogate and torture us thoroughly or worse we were
going to have to wait for some special division to come out to
look for the gun. In unison we all backed away from the car. The
cop popped open the hatchback found the toy gun and the
expression on his face changed.
"See it's not a gun," Chris said. "I don't care! You don't need
to be carrying this around with you." A few more minutes went by
and they were still looking through the car. We were still on
our knees with our hands behind our head. Not only that, but
there was all this traffic passing by and you could tell what
they were thinking because I know that if I passed by a similar
scene I would think it too. "Hmmm, must be a drug bust or
something." After five minutes or so, Chris asked, "you've seen
that we're not a threat can we please get out of this position."
They considered it for another minute or so. Then they finally
let us go sit on the curb.
Apparently what had happened was that while we were at Stop N'
Go somebody had passed by and saw the gun through the window of
the hatchback. Worried that we were going to rob the place, this
person called the police. As Chris later pointed out. It should
have been obvious that we weren't going to rob the place since
we left without having done so. Why did they still pull us over.
Our adrenaline was pumped up way high. Chris even shot some of
our ranting about the incident when we finally got back to my
place.
June 14th, 1995
- This will be a day that will forever live in infamy. This was
the day before we had to have our tape postmarked for the Sony
competition. We still hadn't quite finished shooting yet. There
was still the matter of the last scene that needed to be taken
care of where we go into the afterlife and meet the
guy(Modester)whose body we had just finished burying. We rounded
up Modester went out to Inspiration Point and got it all out of
the way.
I had planned to stay up all night editing the project because
at that point it wasn't even half way done. So I got started
around seven in the evening. I was at Kim's apartment and I set
up my stuff in her livingroom. Well then Kim had decided to
vacuum. I usually leave the stuff on the floor, but I set the
camera on top of the VCR which was sitting on top of an unused
stereo speaker. It was a precarious place for all of that to be
in the first place. Well in the course of her vacuuming Kim
happened to ram the cleaner right into the speaker and the
camera fell off of it. When I tried to turn it on again it
wouldn't power up.
There was no time to take it to a repairman and have it fixed in
time, so I tried to see if I could see what it was myself. With
Kim's assistance I opened up the camera. There were these paper
thin wires attaching the front plate to the rest of the camera.
They got torn in an attempt to get the plate off. Since they
were so paper thin I thought nothing of it. We couldn't tell
what it was. I was hopelessly screwed, but I tried everything I
could to get up and running in order to make that deadline.
I went out to Hypermart which was open 24 hours to look for
another Panasonic camcorder with a synchro edit jack. I planned
to use it for the night and then return it the next day with
some excuse that it didn't have some feature or another(this
would turn out to be incredibly prophetic). I went out and they
did have exactly what I was looking for on display. The only
difference was that it was regular sized VHS so I also picked up
an adapter. I charged the whole thing to my mom's credit card. I
knew that this would have been a big no-no since the previous
summer my mom had laid it into me for charging a $50 dinner, but
I figured it wouldn't matter since I was going to return it the
next day.
They went to go look for the camera and they came back with the
news that the model on display was the previous year's model,
but they did have this year's model. Would it be okay. Sure why
not? What big difference could there possibly be?...like that
years model didn't come with a synchro edit jack, that's what.
And the next day I found that a lot of camcorders were beginning
to skimp on features. They weren't improving they were getting
worse. Not only were the newer models not coming with synchro
edit, but they were also coming with auto focus only which is
the worst thing they could have ever put on a camera because a
lot of priceless moments have been ruined by the auto focus
trying to find the new focal point and then overcompensating by
going completely out of focus.
The way it was going and has become is that if you're a serious
or even semi-serious videographer you have to almost lay out
some serious cash for high end professional products just so you
can have the features that the consumer models had only last
year. They are in effect dumbing down the products because they
figure that the average consumer doesn't use them anyway. And
for the most part they are right.
Well back to Summer Project '95 it died a quick death right then
and there as far as our entering it into the Sony contest was
concerned. All hopes for moving beyond that to getting Sniffles
work done died along with it. I had put it into the same shop
where I had the VCR fixed and they estimated the costs at $300
money which I didn't have. What was making it cost so much was
those damn little wires that had gotten torn. If it weren't for
that it might have only cost a third of that. What pissed me off
even more was the fact that they kept the $64 deposit for their
"labor." I should have taken it to Incredible Universe where
they didn't make you leave a deposit and didn't charge you for
an estimate. Better yet I should have seen if I could have
cancelled payment on the check if it hadn't already been too
late. Oh by the way, I will never deal with White Glove
Electronics in Grand Prairie ever again.
December 1995
A New Camera
- For Christmas, mom agreed to get me another camera. For what
it would have cost to repair the VHS-C camera I figured I could
get another one that was regular sized VHS. I had become to grow
weary of VHS-C back in '94. A VHS-C tape cost about two dollars
more than a VHS tape and not only that but you could only get 30
minutes at the most on standard play while on VHS you could get
two hours. It was just more cost effective. Plus the VHS-C
casing wasn't all that protective of it's magnetic contents. The
tape getting scrunched seemed to be a common problem.
I spent a good portion of the month going to the pawn shops
around town, looking for a full sized Panasonic camcorder(that
way I could be sure that it's synchro edit jack would be
compatible with the one on my VCR). About a couple days before
Christmas I found one at a Cash America Pawn Shop in Azle. It
was only $300, so I took it. I should have looked harder. The
synchro edit jack didn't work and the battery didn't work
either. The pawn shop also didn't give the money back. They
would let you exchange it for another item within 30 days. By
the time that 30 days was up they never managed to get in
another full size Panasonic.
Winter 1996
Film Styles Class
- I had finally gotten into the film styles class that I had
waited about a year and a half to get into because the space was
so limited. They just so happened to have Panasonic S-VHS
camcorders for us to use, so I found out that the synchro
editing problem was in fact with my camera and not the VCR as it
could have possibly been. I also discovered that the battery
that had come with my camera was bad and not that the camera
didn't seem to want to use it. So to that end I went ahead and
bought a replacement battery. I had held off because I wanted to
be sure that it wasn't a problem with the camera itself.
While in that class I did a total of three projects all of them
with Chris. The first was a meeting and a chase story done
without sound. I had to team up with a classmate, Tyler Walker
to do that one. The objective of the assignment was to get one
partner to shoot the meeting and the other one shoot the chase.
I opted for the meeting because the Sniffles chase scene had
given me all I could stand of people running after each other.
I decided to try to be fairly serious in my approach. It's about
a guy who is obsessed with his ex-girlfriend who is getting
along with her life with a new boyfriend and so he goes to kill
her. When I screened it in class it managed to get big laughs
especially at the part where you can plainly read Chris' lips
yelling, "stupid fucking bitch!" I got a 94 on that one. I could
barely read my teacher's handwriting on his critiques, so
although he thought I had a good variety of shots, he thought
there was a shot of a door that I didn't hold onto long enough.
I didn't know what he meant and when I asked him, he couldn't
seem to remember what he was talking about either, but he "must
not have counted off too much for it."
The second project was supposed to be a silent documentary. I
decided to do mine about Chris while he's working at Pizza Hut,
making pizza, making deliveries, and cleaning up the store for
the closing. At the screening the teacher seemed to be impressed
by how the editing gave it a surrealistic feel. My classmates
seemed to be impressed as well. I got a 98 on it. There were
comments like, "excellent pacing" and "good following of the
action". However he would have liked me to have done more with
the actual delivery of the pizzas to people's doorsteps.
These two projects may or may not ever make it to Sniffles. They
just don't seem to fit in with the mood of the show. It all just
depends on how hard up we are that will be the deciding factor
on whether they make it or not. Or maybe if there's a public
outcrying for it(yeah right).
Finishing an Old Project/Making a New Enemy
- When I had first gotten into the film styles class, the
instructor encouraged us to get some practice with all of the
equipment that we would be using so that by the time we had to
do the projects, we wouldn't have to worry too much about
technical concerns. To me that meant that I could use the
editing equipment to finish working on an old friend, Summer
Project '95. So at the beginning of the semester, for about a
week I would spend about three hours a night in the editing room
trying to finish the abandoned project.
There was this guy, Habib, who was responsible for the equipment
checkout and the editing rooms. We had recognized each other
from the school tv station meetings and I can remember him from
previous semesters being fairly cordial with me. But this
semester he decided that he was going to be a complete dick to
me. He was busting my balls since the very first exercise in the
class where we had to get in a group of three and shoot a series
of meaningless shots for the purpose of exploring the different
camera techniques.
Well anyway for the entire week the guy hadn't said anything to
me when I was up in the editing room. Finally on the last hour
of the last day that I had planned to be there for that week, he
decided to come in to check up on me. He asked, "what are you
doing?" It wasn't a "oh I'm curious about what my fellow
students are making" kind of question, but more like a "what the
hell are you doing here?" I said, "I'm...uh...just getting
practice with the equipment." "These are for class assignments
only!" he replied
He left and came back with this piece of paper. "I don't know if
your teacher passed these out to you, but I'm going to give one
to you now." It was an explanation of the abuse of equipment
policy and the penalties for each infraction. Three penalties
meant that you couldn't use the stuff for the whole semester. So
if you've got a class where you need to use it and you can't,
then apparently you're screwed. I didn't get an infraction
thankfully
I thought the whole thing was ridiculous. That particular class
has a fairly high course fee because of the fact that you are
using all of this expensive equipment. So why can't I use the
stuff that I've paid to use. And here's where I will go into a
little bit about the overall uselessness of film schools. If you
want to learn how to make movies you're going to have to do it
out of class time with your own equipment if you can get a hold
of it. Because if Habib's assertion that the equipment is only
to be used for assignments is true everywhere, then you will
never learn anything. I know several fellow classmates who had
never made anything before and haven't done anything since that
class. So what good has film school done for them?
What Do You Want to Do Now?( Revisited)
- On the very same night that I had shot the documentary with
Chris, we decided to get a hold of Modester to reshoot the
sketch we had tried to start almost two years before. It was
literally because of the documentary that I had bought the new
battery for the camera so now we weren't confined to wherever
there was an electrical outlet.
We went to Kim's apartment and we didn't get there until almost
3 or 4 in the morning. I know it was only an hour or two before
sunrise. We would not make the same mistake as we had before. We
would shoot everything all in one day. This meant shooting the
nighttime stuff in the pre-dawn hours and the morning and
evening stuff when the sun finally came up. We did it out on
this small playground in the courtyard of Kim's apartment
complex. By the time the morning had come we were all so very
tired. Kim was leaving early in the morning so we all crashed
over there for a few hours until it was close to noon.
By noon we had only had a couple of hours of sleep. I was dead
tired, but at least I would be able to go back to bed once they
had left. Poor Chris and Modester had to be to work. We couldn't
get the same kind of coverage on the noontime stuff as we could
on the other stuff because by that time the kiddies were out in
full force. With all their yelling and screaming and running
around there would have been no way we could have gotten
everything to match in the editing. Not only that, but in the
finished product you can see how the kids are all very aware of
the presence of the camera and how they are all playing up to
it.
Teddy
- This was something that we did off the top of our heads or
more like Brian's head. With the new battery we had the means to
shoot wherever we wanted to and Chris and decided to take
advantage of it one Saturday afternoon. We went over to Brian's
apartment. I can't remember why specifically if it was for that
reason or not. Joe was over there as well, so I think on a whim
we decided, "Hey, let's do something." So we went outside where
Brian had been living at the time, near the Kimball Art Museum.
Brian just started doing a character. He had this teddy bear
with him and he started talking to it. Out of that Chris came up
with some situations to put Brian's character in. Chris decided
that it would be interesting to throw in him and Joe fighting
around Brian. He wanted to try to do all the segments in single
takes because Chris' goal is to set things up like that even
when it would be more sound pacewise to cut. For better or worse
I managed to get some cuts in here and there. After we shot a
scene to our satisfaction we would literally ask ourselves, "so
what could we do now with the character?" And so we'd walk
around until we figured something out based on what we could
find in the area.
The last and in my opinion funniest part came completely by
accident. Brian decided to just sit down and talk to the bear.
Hopefully something funny would come out of the improv. I was
taping some of it when all the sudden Joe stepped in front of
Brian with a mouth full of water that he dribbled onto the bear
as if it were a urine stream. Since none of us were expecting
it, the take was altogether unusable, but we redid it and on the
first take everyone bust out laughing at the end.
April 1996
A Night in the Dorm Pre-Production
- On the final project for class, Un Nuit(episode 4), I
decided to go all out. Since I would never have to be on camera
that would free me up as to the kinds of things I could do as
far as movement and that sort of thing. I had been planning this
out since the previous semester. The basis of it where Chris
goes to the bathroom and pisses on himself is based in reality.
My dorm had community baths as you can tell from the piece. Well
at the time I was having a serious problem with the sprinkles
where if I wasn't too careful my urine stream would come back
toward me and hit my pants. I would have to hurry down the hall
in the hopes that nobody saw me before I got there to change my
pants. I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but why not?
I'll go ahead and be perfectly honest with you. Besides I
haven't had the problem for a while now.
There was also a problem as far as roommates were concerned.
Often people would leave their keys in the room when they went
to the shower and when they got back to the room they would find
themselves locked out because their roommate had left. It's
happened to me and I've done it to some of my roommates too.
Seeing someone have to go up to the front desk in their bathrobe
or with a towel around their waist asking for a spare key was
not an uncommon occurrence. So I decided to make that a part of
the story as well.
We had to submit proposals of what we wanted to do to our
teacher and whether we got to do it or not was based on whether
he approved it or not. I had to rewrite and resubmit it. He
didn't have a problem with the subject matter. He just didn't
feel that there was enough going on. I needed to add another
incident and so I racked my brain trying to come up with
something because as I had it, it ends with him getting a spare
key. End of story.
I had been reading a book on the making of Psycho and so
I thought it might be a cool idea and have him go take a shower
at the end of the fiasco and then I would duplicate shot for
shot Chris getting murdered like in Psycho. I wanted to
have him killed. That I knew, but I decided not to do it as a
parody of another film. Eventually I realized that it would be
best to have his death interrelated with the rest of the story
and that's how I came up with him being executed for having been
late with the key.
I turned in the rewrite and this time it got approved. On it he
commmented, "Ok. Based on the quality of your work thus far." I
felt good that he had complemented me, but it seemed as if he
wasn't too sure of my material. He was just going to go ahead
and let me do it anyway.
A Night in the Dorm Production
- So with all of that set, I got Chris to come up to the dorm.
Actually I had to go pick him up in Fort Worth because his car
was broken down. We spent one whole night shooting the thing.
All told it took about eight hours. I remember the night fairly
well because it was the same night that my dorm had its big
end-of-the-semester music show, the Bruce Jam. The Bruce Jam was
something that Chris had been wanting to get up to see for a
couple of years and now finally that he had the chance, I made
him work on my project instead. I also took a couple extra days
shooting things like the credits and that was about it.
Response to A Night in the Dorm
- When it was all edited together the initial response seemed
favorable. Chris Switzer had complimented me on my visual sense
and this other guy Joel who was also in a different film styles
class seemed pretty impressed. The showing of it in class was
fairly disappointing however. All of the things that I had hoped
would get big laughs was met with dead silence. The only thing
that did get laughs was the part where I shoot him in the
head(the executioner is me by the way). The part where I rack
focused to the Dr. Pepper can seemed to impress a couple people
around me although it's just a stupid rack focus.
The teacher didn't give our tapes or grades back until the final
exam. I was expecting to get a decent grade on it. I mean I had
gotten A's on everything else. What I had wasn't a cinematic
masterwork but it did have some thought and work put into it. So
maybe I would at least get a low A if nothing else. I got a high
B instead. An 88 to be exact.
He commented that my editing was choppy in places, that the
pacing slows down too much in the middle and that he felt that
there should have been another incident although my thing after
the credits seemed to work. SO WHY DID HE MENTION IT THEN? On
the favorable side he said the music was good and that the use
of locations was good. I know every time I watch a movie I'm
sitting there thinking, "Wow! They really put those locations to
good use." What kind of a compliment was that?
Needless to say I fell into a deep depression which I will site
as yet another journey into Artistic Hell. The usual doubts
about my abilities and future as an artist came about. My only
consolation was that Chris Switzer seemed shocked that I had
recieved such a drubbing. It was hard to tell what the deal was.
Was my project just that bad? Or was it that because I had shown
some ability with the previous projects that he was going to
apply a different set of standards to my work.
To add insult to injury, there was this other guy who had spent
almost no time working on his project. He spent about 4 hours on
it and it looks like he didn't have anything planned out when he
shot it. It just didn't flow together very well. On the day I
was moving out of the dorm for the summer I happened to see him
and I asked him what grade he had gotten. He had gotten an 89.
June 1996
Death Takes a Train Ride Day 1
- Before school had gotten out Chris had given me a script that
he had written for me to storyboard. The script as far as I know
didn't have any basis in a specific incident. It was just
something he had come up with based on his love for Dr.Pepper.
This was still back in the day when I tried to incorporate some
complex moving shots into my visual schemes so we got Modester
one afternoon. Of course as always Modester had to drag along
one of his girlfriends for the trip. This is how it usually
happens. "Hey Modester we need you for a skit." Modester: "Okay,
but first take me over to so-and- so's house 'cause I want to
get my nut off." So we ended up bringing this other girl for the
shoot.
The shoot only lasted about an hour because Chris had to be to
work by a certain time and we had gotten started so late. We
went out to a park out near Benbrook where there was a railroad
track running through it. Modester's girlfriend played out on
the swings because she didn't want to walk through the tall
grass to get to the track. It didn't matter because all we need
was Modester anyway. We only had time to do all of the shots
that required Modester as a camera operator(which amounted to
about 4)before we had to pack it in.
Death Takes a Train Ride Day 2/Baseball Burp/Barely Manenough
-
Chris was determined not to let this script go unfinished so
about a week later we got together earlier and went out to the
same train track to finish up. Before we had completely finished
a train started coming. It was moving slowly enough so we
gathered our stuff and went to the baseball field by the tracks.
The train came to a stop near where we had been and the driver
called out to us. We couldn't hear what he was saying over the
noise of his engines, but we pretty much ignored him. He
probably just wanted to get on our case about being on the
tracks and if that's what it was about then we got the point
without his having to say anything to us. Of course we would
have ignored that point anyway. That's the only thing I can
think of it being because what the hell else would some guy
driving a train want from somebody he's passing by.
So while we were waiting for the train to leave, we shot this
other thing that Chris had been talking about, but we had never
gotten around to doing. It was a little exchange where "burp" is
used as a word that is supposed to mean something. Chris set it
up like he was somebody who was sliding into first base and I'm
tagging him with a Dr.Pepper can. He didn't tell me what the
sketch we were shooting was about until the part where we
actually had to do some dialogue. To tell you the truth I might
have forgotten that we had even shot that had it not been for me
trying to recollect what happened on those days.
So after we had finally gotten all of that done we went back to
Kim's apartment to start shooting another script that Chris had
given me to storyboard at the beginning of the summer. It was
just a little ditty slamming Barry Manilow. We only managed to
finish the scene in the bathroom and bedroom before Chris had to
go to work.
We had a hell of a time with the shot where I get up in Chris'
face and tell him about how much I appreciate him. He wanted to
do it as a Captain Janeway thing because if you notice on
Star Trek: Voyager she likes to get right up into people's
faces when she's talking to them. It always looks like she's
going to kiss them. For us it was weird and awkward and so we
spent about 10 takes flubbing our lines because we would break
out into laughter before the take was over. It was very
difficult to look straight into Chris eyes being so close that
you can't even see his mouth and keep a straight face. Nevermind
the straight face, in the scene we don't look straight at all.
The Last Shot of Que Clinic
- This was just one of those days. We got together to do
something, had nothing really to do so we finished up an old
project, by getting the shot that Chris had planned to get back
in '94 for Que Clinic where his car pulls into the parking lot
where Que Clinic presumably is. That was all we got done that
day and the last thing we did for the rest of the summer.
October 1996
Love Cubed
- The fall semester had come about and I was now in the
intermediate film class taught by Fred Watkins who has directed
a couple low budget films you can find in some video stores
around here in Denton and around the metroplex. The first two
are called Brutal Fury and A Matter of Honor
although he all but disowns the second movie because of the
terrible experience he had working with the producer. His latest
movie, which was shot in '95, is just now coming out in some
local video stores. It is called Lethal Seduction and it
stars former Penthouse Pet, Julie Strain. He is also currently
getting ready for a bigger budget action picture that Tom
Berenger is probably going to be in.
Anyway in this class we got to shoot on real film, not video
like in the beginning class and on Sniffles. The first
assignment was to shoot a 3 minute super-8mm film silent and we
had to edit in camera. Not being able to edit post-production
worried us in the class, like Chris Switzer, but ultimately all
it meant was that we would have to be extra careful how we set
up shots. And since we only had three minutes and there was no
way we could just get another roll if we needed more, we would
have to time out all of the shots as we did. This was something
I wasn't used to doing, but I learned a lot from it because it
taught me about economy, shooting only what you need, and being
more aware of how the thing is going to cut together before you
even start shooting.
Beyond that the big problem was just a creative one. I had a
three minute movie to make, but I didn't know what to do with
that time. The inspiration came from some video I shot one night
a couple weeks before I shot the project. Chris had come up to
Denton with a whole entourage. By that time he had split up with
his wife and was living with another girl named Jennifer.
Jennifer had this friend Christine who had a boyfriend named, of
all names, Chris(we're going to call him Billy because he had
shaved his head a few weeks later and he kind of looked like
Billy Corgan).
So we walked around Fry Street the big hangout area for my
college because we couldn't all hang out in my room since
Switzer was going to bed. I also brought the video camera along
which was fortunate because I shot some of the best home movie
footage of my home movie career that night.
Christine and Jennifer had this bi-sexual streak about them and
if you asked they would tongue kiss each other. I got a couple
of scenes of them doing that. Christine was also on the rag at
the time and I've got footage of Jennifer sticking her hand down
Christine's pants and pulling out a bloody finger. Great stuff
if you're a perverted whacko like me.
It was from this that I based the story that I planned to shoot:
Chris has a girlfriend (wife?), played by Jennifer, and it's a
perfect little relationship. She packs his lunch for him as she
sees him off to work and they are a happy unit. On this day he
comes back home from work to find Jennifer making out with
Christine and he runs off in a rage.
In a park he meets a stranger, played here by Switzer who gives
him some advice (it can't be heard since the film was shot
silent) and Chris realizes that he's been an idiot. So he goes
home and gets into a threesome with Jennifer and Christine. I
just love happy endings!
All the parties agreed to it and so we went on with it. We ran
into a snag getting everybody available all at once and on the
day we were originally going to shoot, Christine wasn't
available. Chris made the suggestion that maybe we could switch
the roles and that it would be Jennifer who caught Chris with
Billy. It would have been okay if Chris would have assured me
that they would kiss for real, but he wanted to fake it. Not
good enough I wanted the real stuff and besides the ending
wouldn't have worked since most women aren't like most men in
that they want to get with two at the same time.
We were able to get everybody together. I shot the movie and
then had to wait a few weeks while the film was shipped off to
get developed and then for Fred to watch it and grade it. It was
very suspenseful because 1.)I would have no idea if the film
turned out before Fred would see it and 2.)what would he think
of it? The day finally came and I got a perfect score. Fred
mentioned it in class and gave the entire plot summary. On the
written comments, he wrote, "Every man's dream." I love Fred.
That was the last thing shot in '96 other than the two 16mm
projects I made for Fred's class, but were just plain bad. The
first is completely out of focus and the other just plain sucks.
Maybe I'll go through the expense of transferring them to video
and putting them on the show.
March 1997
Spring Break Mission
- Chris had finally had enough. He had spent the last six years
on artistic pursuits(probably more than that considering that we
had been working together for the last six years) and still he
had nothing to show for it. This was going to finally be the
year where something would actually happen. If he couldn't get a
band together, so what? He'd just get a drum machine and go it
alone
As far as the show was concerned a little asskicking would be in
order. We would finally get together on a more serious basis and
get the show going again. This would mean that I would have to
put the camera I got from the pawn shop into a repair shop to
get the synchro edit feature fixed. He required me to put it in
at the end of my spring break so that we could use the week to
shoot some things for the show.
Monday, March 17: Mr. Pibb/Snuggle Muffins/Move You Free/Church
of Irrelevancy
- The first day we got back together we shot a sketch idea I had
come up with as a direct result of the Death Takes a Train Ride
sketch. I noticed that we had a couple sketches that dealt with
Chris Dr. Pepper habit. Chris is such a loyal Dr. Pepper drinker
that he shuns all of the Dr.Pepper imitators, like Mr. Pibb for
instance. To him not only are those drinks inferior, but they
are virtually at the bottom of his list of stuff that he would
drink. So it was from this that I got the idea to see what would
happen if I tried to pull a fast one on him and switch his
beloved Dr.Pepper with that of Mr.Pibb.
The scene was shot with mostly static shots, but I did plan a
few moving shots and I begged Kim to execute them before she
went to work. She was very reluctant to do it although it
wouldn't require for her to actually appear on camera. She would
just have to operate the thing. This worried us considerably
because if she didn't want to be associated with the show even
on a technical level what about the Roommate From Hell sketch
that we hadn't finished yet? What about the finished They Cute
sketch from Show 1?
Once we had the Mr.Pibb sketch done we really didn't have a
whole lot of ideas of where to go next. We walked outside into
the apartment complex and an idea came to Chris, only he wasn't
going to tell me what it was. He just told me to start recording
and whatever happens I should just go with it. And this was the
genesis of the "It's Okay Snuggle Muffins!" sketch. I had
absoutely no idea of what Chris was going to do before he did
it, so when he attacked me(the camera) I was taken completely by
surprise. If it had been planned I would have wanted to do it
again just to try to make sure that the annoying date/time
display didn't pop up again.
Chris also had seen the "Move You For Free" sign on the
apartment complex next to Kim's earlier in the previous week and
so he came up with the little quickie idea where he's standing
next to the sign and I move him to a different position. He
tries to pay me, but I refuse the money.
He then saw a orange safety cone in the grass in the park across
the street from Kim's apartment and so he decided to do a
Snuggle Muffin reprise. As you can probably already tell we were
really scraping at the bottom of the barrel for material at this
point.
We walked around the park and then Chris decided to do his
Church of Irrelevancy soap box thing. It was actually something
he had written a while back and since we were trying to find
something, anything, to do he decided to go with that.
All in all it wasn't too bad of a day. Even though just about
everything we shot that day was filler, it still put us back on
a creative track. Most of the stuff might have been simple, but
as Chris likes to point out from time to time that when we're
actually working on the show, we manage to generate other ideas
from doing it. Not only that, but some of the stuff I actually
kind of like anyway.
Country Fresh/Hair Tie Revisited
- The Sniffles(sniff!) Country Fresh air freshener was something
we had come up with back in '93. It is a parody of all the real
"country fresh" scented products out on the market. Because when
you think about it. What is country fresh? When you work on a
farm you deal with fertilizers and smelly animals. Why would you
want that in your house? Anyway it took us that long to finally
get it off of the page and into a finished form. This was how we
started our second day of the spring break work schedule.
Chris had brought his guitar with him and from the sketch we had
just done. He improvised a song using the theme of manure. More
great filler.
Also on this night, we finally finished the Hair Tie Drama. The
two years of putting it off until we came up with an ending
would be over. We would be forced to come up with an ending
right then and there. I had some ideas, but I had never fully
developed them because a big problem of ours is that we never
finish what we start. We'll put off finishing something until
the next day only to want to work on something else when the
next day rolls around.
One of the big things we would have to contend with in the
sketch was the fact that when we started the sketch I had long
hair, but now I had short hair. Luckily it played well into the
theme of the sketch in the first place about how much of a
nuisance having long hair can be when you can't pull it back.
Putting the Camera Into the Shop(trying to at least)
- My spring break was at an end and so before I went to work at
Wal-Mart for the weekend I went to Circuit City to drop the
camera off. Of course they wouldn't take it because they have a
policy about not servicing equipment that is at least ten years
old, and my camera had just had a birthday. They told me that I
would most likely have to go through the
manufacturer(Panasonic).
I called up the Panasonic hotline and they told me that the
nearest Panasonic repair center was in some town in Illinois. I
was very discouraged. I didn't have a lot of time to go hunting
up other repair shops that might take my piece of equipment.
April 1997
The Gods Are on Our Side
- Chris still harped on me a bit about still trying to find a
repair shop for the camera, but I could tell that some of the
hope might have died in him as well. I had just about given up
on it. I didn't want to go through the trouble and expense of
sending my camera all the way to Podunk, Illinois and then
having to wait an eternity for them to get to it and finally
sending it back, providing it never got lost in the mail.
One of my and Chris' goals is to shoot a feature length 16mm
film. I was hunting around trying to find a suitable 16mm
camera. I had e-mailed the Krasnogorsk company trying to find
out how I can order one of their cameras and they never got back
with me. Their web page sure as hell didn't have any
information. So I decided that I would hunt through every pawn
shop and camera shop until I found a camera. I could have killed
myself for not having snagged a camera that I had seen at a
camera shop in Denton that they were wanting $350 for. When I
went back it was already gone.
So I went to a pawn shop not very far from where Kim worked. I
didn't see any film cameras, but I took a look at the video
cameras, and that's when I saw it. I felt like Bruce Willis in
Pulp Fiction when he sees that samurai sword. I could
imagine the edited sequence of my reaction and then the cutaway
to the slow zoom in shot to the Panasonic S-VHS full size
camcorder that was just like the ones that we had used in the
beginning film styles class. I asked the guy how much it was.
And he told me $299.99.
This was unbelievable. It cost just as much as the other piece
of shit that I had bought and the fact that it recorded in Super
VHS already made it a better machine. And if the synchro edit
jack worked, then it would just be phenomenal. Normally I would
hesitate when spending even that much money, but I knew that I
could not let that camera fall into someone else's hands.
Besides I had saved up enough money from having worked at
Wal-Mart for the last 10 months.
I was so excited for the rest of the weekend. I couldn't wait to
hook it up to the VCR to see if it would edit. If it didn't work
the guy at the pawn shop said that if it didn't I could bring it
back within 30 days to get it repaired, but luckily I didn't
have to take him up on his offer. We now had the means to
continue on our course with the show.
May 1997
The Final, Absolute Completion of Episode One
- By this time I had moved out of the dorms and had gotten an
apartment with my dorm roommate, Chris Switzer. I did it so that
I would have a place to live when I took summer school. This was
the first summer that I had seriously planned to take classes,
because if I didn't then I wouldn't be able to graduate in
December.
One of the first nights I spent in my new apartment, Chris came
with me and we put together Show 1. Actually our intention was
to rescore the music for the chase scene since the music for the
Sony version didn't fit with the public access version. Before
we started to go through that arduous process somebody came up
with the brilliant idea that since I now had a S-VHS camcorder
with a working edit jack and since the master copies of both
Show 1 and the Chase Scene were on S-VHS, I could mix and match
scenes from both versions onto the final edit of the show that I
would turn into public access.
This meant that we wouldn't have to record another note of
music. We would start off with the Public Access beginning since
it is about the only thing that is drastically different and
then continue with the Sony bits of us running, which wasn't
different, but had the music that we wanted. It saved a lot of
time and headaches and we could concentrate more on putting the
echo into the mailbox scene, which wasn't very easy, but we did
get it done nonetheless.
Show 2 Edit/Dueling Cameras
- The following night after Chris had left Denton I returned to
Fort Worth with Show 1 completed. He told me to bring the VCR
because we were going to start on Show 2 and he absolutely had
to be with me to edit the opening of the show.
Earlier that day, while I had been sleeping very soundly, Chris
was deep into a sleep deprivation session. He had also borrowed
his friend Matt's camera and shot a couple moderator sequences.
He had to be with me because he knew that I would not know how
to edit the footage together as he would have wanted it edited
together. And he was right.
When the whole opening moderator sequence for Show 2 was
complete, I wasn't sure to think if Chris was either a genius or
if I should be afraid of him because of the level of insanity
put forth in that segment. I mean I've known the guy for 7 years
now and I was wondering if this guy wasn't some weird being who
at the end of the day retreats to some netherworld where madness
reigns.
Even as I looked at him sitting on his dad's couch(he still
hadn't gotten another place since he moved out of his efficiency
earlier in the year), laughing at my reaction and to the piece
unveiling itself onscreen, I had to wonder if the person in the
room with me and the demon on the tv were one and the same.
Chris had another idea for a sketch and once the sun came up we
took both my camera and Matt's camera outside of the his dad's
apartment complex. The whole concept was to have two people
whose perspectives are seen only from a camera affixed to their
eye and have them meet and fight. In my shot you can see Chris
with his camera and in Chris' shot you can see me with my camera
and those two shots are the only footage shot of that sequence.
Friday, May 23: The Public Access Show Finally Makes it to
Public Access
- The tapes for the June showing on public access were due on
the Friday of the third week of May. On that day, Chris and I
went downtown together to turn the tape in. I felt very weird
actually going to the cable office with a show to put on. This
was finally it, everything we had been talking about doing and
working toward for the last four years. It seemed like it would
never happen and here it was finally happening. Since we had
done so well not having a show on why quit with that good
streak? I genuinely had butterflies in my stomach.
June 1997
Wednesday, June 4: Sniffles(sniff!) Makes it's Public Access
Debut
- Of course we didn't know about it at the time since there was
no advance word sent to us about what particular time slot it
would get. Chris had to go down to the cable office at the end
of the week to find out. I heard about it on the Friday of that
same week. We had the 6:00 p.m. time slot. Now we knew when it
was on. The question was had anybody seen it?
September 2, 1997
Chris meets Buddy from Tejano Time (by Chris) - ...And we
didn't. We sat around and then went downstairs. Then we got
taken back after waiting another 10 minutes. Now any other
typical day we would be checked out right when we got back, but
not today. We had to sit in the waiting-to-be-assigned area and
wait to be checked out for the day for 30 minutes, then they
finally let us go. Any other typical day I would walk to my car,
get in and drive home, but not today. Today my car was in the
shop and I had to walk home.
So there I was on North Side Drive walking, reading about
Princess Diana, admittedly, more interested in the way she died
rather than who she is, thinking about fame and its good and bad
points. I get to the underpass of I-35 when someone pulls up to
the light and says to me, "Hey aren't you the Sniffles guy?" (I
just want to point out for the record that he didn't sniff when
he said the name.)
He was a Hispanic male and at first I thought it might be one of
the guys I had told about the show last Tuesday at work release
because I recognized him too. Then he said, "I'm on Tejano Time.
Your show comes on after mine." I was kind of shocked. I was
like, "Yeah we've watched your show waiting for ours to come
on." I was watching the red light wondering if I should ask him
for a ride.
He asked, "So how are you guys doing?" I told him just fine and
that we were still working on it. He started asking what night
it was again our show came on because he knew it was after his
show, but he couldn't remember which showing. I told him
Thursday and then said, "I hate to ask this, but I'm walking
home right now and I was wondering if I could get a ride." He
said sure so I got in. I told him the best way to go.
He told me that he saw me walking and that he thought I looked
familiar. Then when I flipped my hair like I "always do in the
show" and he knew it was me. I noticed that he was wearing a
polo shirt with "Tejano Time" embroidered on it as he told me
that he thought the funniest thing was when we were "trying to
get that girl to do the laundry."
I wowed in the fact that he had been watching it that long. He
asked me why I was walking so far from home and I told him I was
on work release and that the skit where I was talking about
playing a rock show in court was based partially in reality
because I actually was awaiting a court appearance. He
acknowledged that he had seen it, which I kind of knew because
it's the one of the skits that I flip my hair in.
He asked me where we edited as he complimented how well it was
edited. I told him we used Miguel's VCR with a sychro edit jack
and a jog shuttle. And that Miguel was going to UNT studying
film. He said(probably referring to the laundry skit where I
say, "You're the one who's studying film.") "Yeah I saw that
one, but I wasn't sure if that was a joke or not." I told him
that we had a skit that was shot for Miguel's film class that we
did silent and scored with Mario Paint music I had written on
the Nintendo. I told him basically up to the point where I pee
on myself and he thought it was funny.
He asked why we decided to do a show and I told him that we had
a web site address posted on Episode 4 and the site had a
detailed history, but I told him about "Myles of Smyles" and
that the waiting for the access rules thing at the beginning of
the chase thing was based in reality too. He told me that he
thought that was funny and that he liked the way it was cut
together.
I asked him why he got started. He told me he had been working
promoting outdoor Tejano shows and that he had met a lot of the
artists that way. And that Channel 39 had a Tejano video show
that they took off for baseball(and even though I don't actively
listen to Tejano music, I must say selling out music for sports
is bad.).
He got involved with some Tejano dance show on 45 that had kids
dancing to Tejano music and that he was trying to get them to
implement videos along with the dancing because he missed being
able to see the videos. They told him that they really didn't
have the means to do it, but that he should do his own show and
he was like, "What do you mean?" So they told him about 46. He
called up some record company contacts he had made and started
producing the show.
I told him that I admired his drive to get it done and said, "I
admit we don't listen to Tejano music and we usually just raz on
the music while waiting for our show, but we had been wondering
how you got started with your show."
He dropped me off at the apartments and said, "Haven't you shot
some stuff here?" I said, "You must be thinking of my Dad's
apartments, like the camera fight." He laughed and said, "Yeah."
I told him that we shot that at my Dad's and that the only thing
we had shot in these apartments was one of the end meat
segments. Again he laughed and acknowledged the skits by saying,
"Yeah."
He gave me a flyer and a business card and I gave him my work
number and the pager number and I told him I'd send him flyers
to his P.O. Box.
To think of all the little things that contributed to both of us
being at that light at the same time, including me stopping to
go pee behind a tree.
Go figure.
September 17, 1997
Of All the People
-
After we had left Brian's at around 11:30, Chris and I headed up
to Denton so that we could edit together Episode 5. But first we
had to stop off at Chris' apartment on the way so that we could
pick up Binky to do the credits and title screens. From the
apartment we went to the Kroger which is right up the street
from where Chris lives so that he could get some Dr.Pepper.
We noticed a bulletin board on a wall in the front entrance.
Granted all grocery stores have them, but the thought finally
came to actually put one of our show flyers on it. Chris took
notice of a girl and some guy she was with, both of whom
appeared to be our age, perfect people to try to promote the
show to.
We walked past them as they were getting into the car. It just
so happened that the girl, who was driving, had her window
rolled down. Chris asked, "Do you get Marcus Cable?" She didn't
hear him at first so he repeated it. She said she did get Marcus
Cable and Chris explained about our show. She seemed
interested(for us interested means that she didn't drive off
right away) so I ran to the truck to get her a flyer.
When she looked at the flyer, she said, "Oh are you those
guys...," cool maybe she had seen the show, "...that are doing
that Pool Watch thing?" It's kind of a strange thing, but for a
brief moment Chris and I actually shared the same thought. How
the hell did she know about Pool Watch? At this stage, Pool
Watch is something that Brian has only been talking about and
has never fully scripted. We've been kind of blowing it off
mainly because we're more concerned with getting Episode 6 out
of the way and also because right now there is nothing on paper.
I asked her if she knew Brian, an obvious question and she said
that she did. Chris asked her what her name was to see if she
might have been one of the many girls that Brian has been
telling us that he's been talking to who are interested in being
on the show, but about whom Chris and I are having doubts. She
said her name was Tara. It didn't ring any bells.
Finally she explained that she was Shannon's sister. The name
Shannon rang a bell as she is one of the girls Brian keeps
telling me wants to be in the show. If Shannon is as cute as
this Tara girl is then we're definitely going to have to get the
both of them on the show.
It was kind of a cool coincidence and Chris said that the
incident was even more frustrating, because although Brian has
only been on the first four episodes a total of five minutes,
he's getting a lot more attention than we are. Not only that but
we had hoped that we could at least interest someone in the show
that was in no way connected to us. Everybody that we know who
has seen the show has either been people we know from work or
friends of friends.
September 17th 1997
Show 5 Completed - Chris and I spent all day and night to get it
done so that we could turn it into the cable office by Friday.
By the time it was all over the both of us had managed to stay
up 24 hours. The day was an accomplishment in the sheer amount
of stuff that we managed to get done. Basically we shot a whole
7 minutes of the show which is the whole introduction before we
even get into the much maligned Summer Project '95.
The reason we were able to get so much done I think is because
this is about the most simplistic we have ever gotten with our
stuff. The first three minutes is basically us just sitting in
front of the camera reading some viewer mail. There's not really
a whole lot going on there. I usually feel guilty whenever we
cut corners like that, but it does fill up show time and if the
result actually works on some level than it's not too bad.
We spent all night working on the final edit because Chris
insisted that he have his own private personal copy to take home
with him when we were done. I kept telling him that he was going
to have to wait for his copy because it was not absolutely
necessary that he have it that day. But he kept insisting and so
it all got done, even Summer Project '95 which I thought would
never be completed. I just knew that something was going to
break down before the night was over or even later during the
week before I would be able to get an S-VHS tape to make the
copy for public access.
Luckily none of that happened and I got it in on time. Now I'm
bracing myself for what could possibly be some serious
consequences as a result of this episode. I'm just sure that
someone is going to have a problem with it considering the
nature of what happens in the program.
September 18th 1997
A Big Mixup
- I had talked to Chris the night before. He had just gotten his
new phone installed. If you want the number...ahhh thought I was
actually going to give it out didn't you? I've been telling him
that he needs to give me expilicit written instructions because
he's been complaining a lot that I don't listen to him. Case in
point. He wanted me to dub the first four episodes of the show
onto one tape before I turned in our public access dub of
Episode 4 in. I understood it that he just wanted a copy of
Episode 4 and that was it. That's all he got and so he accused
me of not listening to him.
I keep having to explain that 1.)I'm a visual learner. I can't
just know exactly what you're talking about from verbal
expression alnoe 2.)What I do hear is all dependent on what I'm
doing when you're talking to me. If I'm involved in something
else that's requiring my concentration then most of what you say
won't even be processed by my brain. I think all of us are like
that, but I especially hate when others try to use it against me
as if to say that it's a defect in my makeup.
So anyway, he was giving me some instructions that he was
telling me to write down so that I could refer to them so that I
would leave nothing out. This list of instructions primarily
involved bringing the VCR down to Fort Worth for the weekend so
that we could start editing Shows 6&7. We generally get together
with Brian at his apartment at 9:00 on Thursdays. I mentioned to
Chris that since I would have over 5 hours from the time I got
out of class until the time that we were supposed to meet at
Brian's that maybe I would stop off at Chris' earlier in the day
so that we could start the editing.
As it turned out the following day, I didn't manage to get out
of
Denton until almost 9:00. When I had gotten out of class I
decided to start some of the practice editing. I had gotten so
wrapped up into it that it was very late when I got finished
with it.
I was running very late but I decided to stop off at Chris'
apartment first since it was on the way to see if he was still
there. I didn't actually go in which was a big mistake. I went
around the parking lot to see if his car was still there. I
didn't see it at first glance so I assumed that he had already
gone to Brian's. Since I was already late as it was I decided
that it would be best not to stop and to continue on to Brian's.
When I got to Brian's, Chris was not there. Brian told me that
Chris had called to see if I had shown up there already. It
would have been so easy to just call Chris, but there was one
problem. I had lost the piece of paper that I had written the
number on along with Chris' instructions. Brian didn't know what
the number was either. In fact the previous night I wouldn't
have even gotten Chris' number the first time had I not realized
to ask before we hung up. Unfortunately information didn't have
a listing for Chris(I later found out that Chris intentionally
got the number unlisted so that certain people would not be able
to get a hold of it).
I thought to page him, but Brian was in a hurry to get out the
door because he had to go feed the cats at Kim's apartment
because she was out of town for the week. I left a note on
Brian's door just in case Chris decided to show up while we were
gone. We were gone for almost an hour and when we got back Chris
had not shown up. By that time it was definitely too late to
salvage the what was left of the night.
I didn't get to Chris' until 1 a.m. He had been home the entire
time. I somehow managed to miss seeing his car. The reason he
never left was because he thought that I was supposed to meet
him at his place and then we would go to Brian's together.
Either HE WASN'T LISTENING TO ME or I just miscommunicated my
intentions the night before. Maybe it's both.
September 25th 1997
Switzer Discovers What It's Really Like to Work On
Sniffles(sniff!)
- Switzer wanted to come down with me to work on the show with
us. I stipulated that if he came down that he was going to have
to take his own car because there was no way that I was going to
take him all the way back to Denton. Actually I could have taken
him back to Denton but he would have had to wait until after the
weekend.
What we had planned to shoot was the sequence for Show 6 where
Brian and I drag Chris to a doctor. The doctor was supposed to
be played by Modester who Chris had made arrangements with
earlier in the week to get together with for the week. When
Switzer expressed an interest in being in the show, I instantly
got an idea on how to use him. I would have loved to use him as
a camera operator but since I've given up on the storyboards and
with them all hope of having moving shots, it wasn't necessary.
I thought that it would be cool to have Switzer as Modester's
assistant who is overly critical of how the camera crew(what
crew?) is setting the shots up and blocking the scene. It would
have been a good moment of self reflexiveness for the show.
So Switzer followed me down to Fort Worth to Chris' apartment.
We waited there until Chris got home from work and when he did
we loaded up into Chris' car to make the trip down to Brian's.
At Brian's Chris called Modester. Modester was already asleep
when he called and he was absolutely unwilling to get up to
spend an hour with us shooting the segment for the show since he
had to be up at 6 the next morning. Modester said that we could
get together Friday night since he wouldn't have to work all
weekend long.
Basically all of this meant that we had absolutely nothing to
do. Switzer had driven down for nothing. I decided that we
shouldn't let the entire night go to waste so we decided to do
one of the sketches Brian has been talking about doing,
specifically Hot Dog Cleaner Man. Just as we decided to do this
Kendra walked through the door, home early from work. The major
event of the night was our going to Kim's to help move her
entertainment center.
Switzer was very disappointed and Chris pointed out that this is
how working on the show always is. Sometimes we'll get something
done, but more often than not we'll be empty handed like we were
that night. The only difference is Switzer had to drive 60 miles
to learn it.
September 26th 1997
Failing to make up for lost time
- Modester had told us the night before that since he couldn't
get with us then that he would get with us on Friday night. The
only problem was that both Chris and I had to work. No problem
we would just get together when the both of us got out of work
after midnight.
Of course we ran into a serious snag. When I got a hold of Chris
when I finally clocked out at 1a.m. he reported that no one was
answering Modester's phone. Since Modester had just moved into a
new apartment that day and neither of us knew the location, we
couldn't simply go knock on his door until he woke up to answer
it
Chris sounded pretty tired as it was and since he had to get up
early in the morning for work release anyway, I figured it was
best to just let it go and not worry about it.
October 1st 1997
Continuing to Slip/Show 5 Premiere
- I was late getting over to Brian's apartment. As I was getting
there, Chris was also arriving as well. He said that he
deliberately delayed showing up on time because he knew that I
wouldn't be there on time. I smart-assedly told him that I also
delayed because I knew that he would delay getting to Brian's
expecting me to be late. Chris gave his usual unconvinced,
"okay" and we went on with it.
Of course we didn't have much time from that point anyway. Brian
had to leave by 10:30 to pick up Kendra from work. We only got a
few shots done. They are the ones where Chris has a big laughing
fit over his cleverly dealing with a telemarketer and so he goes
into the bedroom and his heart explodes or something like that.
That was about two shots worth of stuff.
We also did a shot that starts the whole telemarkete sequence
where Chris is awakened by the ringing telephone. We also did a
shot from inside the bedroom where Chris starts his head roll
thing just in case we need that shot for editing purposes. Brian
left after that and we pretty much knew that all production
would come to a halt for the night from there on.
We waited outside Brian's apartment while he left to get her. We
waited around so that when they came back we could watch the
public access debut of Episode 5 and so we sat around in my
truck talking. Meanwhile there were these two teenage girls that
walked past us on their way to and from, presumably, the
convenience store since it is the only thing within walking
distance of Brian's apartment complex. Chris seemed to think
that one of them was particularly trying to show off by the way
she was shaking her booty. I commented that they might have been
cute, but I couldn't tell since it was so dark.
As they passed by the second time, Chris blurted out, "You're
right, Miguel. They are cute." He does that to me all the time,
like the time when he had come up to Denton so we could edit
Show 4. We had stopped off at Wal-Mart so that I could pick up a
new VHS-C adapter because the one I bought back in '95 was about
dead. While we were in line, there was this fairly young
attractive girl in the line parallel to ours. She was with her
father. Chris commented to me about how he liked her butt.
It just so happened we were leaving our respective lines at
around the same time and we walked past them. As we did, Chris
called out, "You're right, Miguel. She does have a nice butt."
He stopped for a moment and I kept on walking. He ran to catch
back up with me. He said the girl just smiled and her father
didn't have anything to say about it.
So, as we're walking to my truck in the parking lot we pass by a
couple. Chris yells out, "You're right, Miguel. His girlfriend
is pretty cute." Again I just kept on walking. The boyfriend
took exception to Chris' comments and he threw his arms up in
the universal "Ya wanna fight, punk. Wus up?" signal. Chris just
yelled to him, "Oh get over your macho self, " and the guy
turned around and went into the store. Confusion is a good way
to defuse a hostile enemy.
I pointed out to him that had I been Switzer I would have left
his ass at Wal-Mart. Switzer left Chris at Taco Bell for less
and all Chris was trying to do then was say stupid shit to the
drive thru person at the speaker menu and not outright get
Switzer into trouble.
So anyway, back to the present. The two girls smiled, I guess. I
couldn't tell and walked back to their apartment building. I
mentioned that we should have told them about the show and Chris
jumped up out of the bed of the truck to go chase after them. I
took my time following him just in case the girls yelled "rape!"
When I got there they were listening to what he had to say about
the show. I brought them a flyer and although they didn't have
cable in their apartments they knew someone who did. They asked
their friend if they could watch the show in her apartment. The
friend agreed and so we left to continue wating for Brian.
Brian didn't show up until almost 20 minutes after 11pm. Our
show was half over not that it really mattered to me because I
especially have a hard time watching Summer Project '95. When we
came in it was at least up to the part that I can sit through
comfortably.
When it was over we walked over to the apartment building of the
two girls. They were sitting on the stairs wating for us. They
said they liked the show, but there were parts they didn't
understand very well, particularly the ending. A lot of it was
because they recognized the location so they didn't understand
that it was supposed to be the afterlife.
The older woman said that the two girls wanted to be in the
show. They didn't say this themselves, but they nodded in
agreement. Now that I could see them better, they were indeed
attractive, but a little young. Sixteen years old to be exact,
not exactly the kind of girls I need to be messing with. Their
youth also presents a problem with our ever being able to ever
use them in the show because until they turn 18, their parents
would have to sign a release form agreeing to let them be on
television.
Since we wouldn't be able to use Brian's apartment for the rest
of the night, we wandered around the River Oaks area hoping to
brainstorm something we could shoot so that we could say that we
had accomplished something for the night. We mostly talked about
the possibility of starting up another show featuring local
bands.
Last Saturday, Brian had talked to one of the guys from the band
Slow Roosevelt and he seemed to be very interested in doing a
song for the show. Chris said that music bits really didn't have
any place in the format of Sniffles(sniff!) and that it would
best be served doing an entire show dedicated to the local music
scene.
Chris did come up with an idea that we shot that night. And
that's where Brian and I are talking about how cool it is to be
drunk. We shot it at a car wash in Brian's neighborhood and it
probably won't be on for a while.
Late 1999 (extra notes by Nathan)
Nathan discoveres Sniffles and emails Miguel
- In 1999 I had the notion to move back into Fort Worth (from
Joshua). I found a place at The Hills off Normandale in far West
Fort Worth. I was there only a short time when I saw the public
access show Sniffles (sniff!) on Channel 46 (Charter's Public
Access station). I already had an interest in Public Access and
longed to have a show on there of my own. For the most part
there were religious shows on public access but I stumbeled
across Sniffles... I emailed the guy who gave out his email at
the end of the show and he replied pretty fast. Soon Miguel and
I hit it off and we began emailing in earnest. Well, Miguel asks
me to call his partner in public access crime Chris McGinty on
Chris’ “public access” phone line also known as ‘the pubic
domain’. He wants me to leave a message to try to patch things
up between them. They had a falling out for some reasons months
back. I did and soon I met the interesting character of Chris
McGinty.
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