by Chris McStout and Nathan Ginty (or something like that)
INT – NIGHT – NATHAN’S COMPUTER ROOM
(The sweet sounds of Falco’s “Out of the Dark” eminates from the computer speakers. Nathan tries in vain to turn it into gangsta rap.)
CHRIS: So Nathan, I guess we’re almost done with Season Two even though we’ve been almost done with Season Two for almost a year now.
NATHAN: This whole season is still taking less time than the whole of Episode Three in Season One.
CHRIS: What exactly do we still have to do? Isn’t it like finish Episode One, then finish Episode Two, then Ffnish Episode Three…
NATHAN: Ok, ok, I get it. We have a lot to do still while not having a lot to do.
NATHAN (walks back in the room): Hey! I didn’t say that!
NATHAN (the real one): Bullocks (exclamation mark) I admit (comma) things have been going slowly editing is a bitch (period)
CHRIS: Oh well. Have you done the club scene yet?
NATHAN: No. It looks like a very tedious thing to do and it’s not until Episode Three anyway. There’s no rush.
(Nathan walks out of the room again. He seems to think that now is a good time to do housework. Chris is pretty sure that the landlord character is really just an amalgom of the half of Nathan’s personality that is obsessed with housework and the other half of Nathan’s personality that is obsessed with housework.)
CHRIS: Where’s my copy of Annie Lennox doing “Mama” by The Sugarcubes?
NATHAN: I don’t do copies that’s illegal. You may listen to my fully legal version.
CHRIS: Where is it?
(Nathan directs Chris through a maze of computer directories until the sweet sounds of Annie Lennox performing “Mama” eminates from the computer speakers.)
CHRIS: This is very World Music/ New Age-ish.
(Nathan doesn’t hear Chris say this cos he’s cleaning a toilet or something out of the room.)
NATHAN: I agree with your assessment Chris, cos you are an expert of music and your opinion is more important than all others.
NATHAN (the real one): Bullocks!
CHRIS: Who asked you?
(Nathan probably rolls his eyes behind Chris’s back. Chris doesn’t worry about looking to see.)
NATHAN: What did you think?
CHRIS: She seems to be trying to…
NATHAN: Imitate her?
CHRIS: … out do her.
(Silence as Chris types.)
CHRIS: So how do you think our weekly meetings are working out?
NATHAN: Uh fair, but not perfect.
CHRIS: What do you think will improve them?
NATHAN: I really don’t know. Um. Miguel.
(Chris searches Nathan’s desk for whatever crack he’s smoking.)
CHRIS: I don’t know, you ask me something.
NATHAN: Do you happen to have a fish tank heater at home?
CHRIS: I don’t like seafood.
NATHAN: Well I officially call this broken.
CHRIS: And I officially call this the end of our blog.
(And then there are a bunch of explosions, and the kids love it, and the blog sells millions at the box office.)