Flash Ahhhh!: Episode Two – I Hear the Secrets that You Keep

by the According To Whim .com crew

(Part One by Nathan Stout)

[INT – DAY – NATHAN’S House]

(Fade in on the floor, camera moves up to reveal Nathan sitting among candy, snacks, and sodas eating as fast as possible, and having difficulty getting it all down. There is a knock on door. Nathan sees that it is Chris. He hollers out to the door.)


(Before he is done Chris is inside.)

NATHAN: …in.

CHRIS: What are you doing?

NATHAN: What does it look like?!

CHRIS: Trying to die like many of those 50’s and 60’s idols… before you reach 33?

NATHAN: I am trying to gain some sort of power like you.

CHRIS: You might lay off a bit. I’d rather have you dull then dead.

(Nathan looks scornful.)

NATHAN: Leave me alone, I’ve got sugar to ingest.

(Chris shrugs and leaves in a flash. Nathan continues to shovel food.)


(The next day Chris comes over and stands in front of Nathan’s bed where Nathan is laying moaning. There is a trash can next to his bed, and he is looking sick.)

CHRIS: I told you.

NATHAN: Shut up… ohhhhhh. uuuuggggg. I guess, you were right. You must think I’m a real fool. awwwwwwwww…

(There is a pause.)

NATHAN: Well fuck you.

CHRIS: What?

NATHAN: I would have expected a little sympathy from a friend, not a snide crack.

CHRIS: I didn’t say anything.

NATHAN: Yes you did. You said I was a fool, a fat one.

CHRIS: Uh, no I didn’t.

NATHAN: Yeah you did. Please stop thinking about sex you had last night, it’s gross.

CHRIS: What?! How did you know what I was thinking?


(Nathan’s eyes open wide.])
CHRIS: You can read minds now?

NATHAN: Wow. Lemme see…

(Nathan stares at Chris intently. A look of disgust spreads across his face.)

NATHAN: I don’t know if this is such a good power…

(Part Two by Chris McGinty)

(Nathan glances at Chris with a disgusted look.)

CHRIS: He means nothing to me.

NATHAN: There’s no male except you in that memory.

CHRIS: He’s transgender.

NATHAN: You’re lying.

CHRIS: No, I’m not.

NATHAN: Your thought said, “Yes I am.”

CHRIS: There goes my argument that we’re all bi-sexual.


(It’s an hour later, and Nathan and Chris are watching TV.)

CHRIS (thought): I need another Dr. Pepper.

NATHAN: Will you get me one while you are up?

(Chris looks kind of annoyed. He leans forward a bit then instantly leans back with two Dr. Peppers in his hand.)

CHRIS: (thought): I don’t think I like this whole reading…

NATHAN: Reading minds thing? Just think of all the time we won’t waste anymore.

CHRIS: What, like I don’t need to spend time hiding my inner most deep dark secrets?

NATHAN: But we’re closer now than you and Miguel are, and I haven’t known you as long.

CHRIS: Yeah, but I really thought I had gotten away with the whole dress up like your favourite Spice Girl party without anyone finding out.

NATHAN: I don’t see that thought. It must be one of those thought blocks you have. No I didn’t say cock block, Pun Master. “Favourite” Spice Girl? You know, you even think in British spellings.

CHRIS: I can’t stand this.

NATHAN: You know, we need to come up with a list for my power too. There has got to be some uses for it.

CHRIS: Good. I’ll just sit here and think my ideas out. You write them down for me.

NATHAN: How is it that you have the power to do thinks at the speed of sound, but I’m still doing all the work?

(Later, we find Chris and Nathan sitting at the table playing Net Runner.)

NATHAN: I’m going to run on HQ. Let me see I’ll pick the second card from the left.

(Nathan reaches out for the card.)

NATHAN: Wait, that would be your left.

(Nathan grabs a different card.)

NATHAN: I win on turn three again! What is that six games? Oh yeah. You’re right seven.

CHRIS: You swore you wouldn’t use your power.

NATHAN: I know. I can’t get it to turn off though. I guess I’ve found a real drawback to this power. You’re right. We should find something else to do. Let’s go see Miguel. I want to find out some things.


(Chris and Nathan knock on the door.)

MIGUEL: I knew it was the two of you.

CHRIS: Do you have a special power that allows you to read minds too?

MIGUEL: No, it’s just that about once a year you guys try to renew your friendship with me, and for about two weeks straight you won’t leave me alone. You said read minds too. Does that mean you can read minds, or that Nathan got himself a power?

NATHAN: Well, I thought I did, but I look to you and I see nothing.

MIGUEL: I was born with an immunity to mind reading. The nearest anyone can get is to find out whether I’m lying or not.

NATHAN: He’s telling the truth. I can tell.

MIGUEL: It’s kind of kept me out of trouble with my wife, but it means I can’t lie to her.

CHRIS: Your wife reads minds?


CHRIS: Oh boy.

MIGUEL: Yeah she thinks your little fantasy is ridiculous. I think it’s funny.

CHRIS: Well, let’s leave it at that, ok?

NATHAN (grinning): Naughty schoolboy, and sadistically disciplinary school principal?

CHRIS: Oh yeah, I forgot. I have no secrets anymore. Listen, I think she would be hot wielding a whip. I’m so sorry. It’s just a fantasy. No one really has sex with their teachers for good grades.

MIGUEL: Anyway, what did you need from me?

NATHAN: We thought you might have some advice as to what we should do with our powers.

MIGUEL: Actually I do. There’s a division downtown, and the two of you need to go register your powers.

CHRIS: Is he lying?

NATHAN: Who is Mazzy Star?

(Chris concentrates on Nathan.)

NATHAN: Oh yeah. I like that song. No, Miguel is not lying.

CHRIS: Have you registered your power, Miguel?

MIGUEL: Mine’s considered an immunity, not a power.

CHRIS: Well, then you need to work on gaining your own power while we go downtown.

MIGUEL: I’ll get started on it immediately.

NATHAN: He’s lying.

CHRIS: I thought so.

(End Episode Two)

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