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| by Chris McGinty of AccordingToWhim.com |
Let me start by apologizing for
the title of this blog post. That’s unfair of me. I’ve made you mad at me
before I can legitimately make you mad at me. Tell you what. I’ll start over
and make my case in a logical, straightforward manner, and you can start over
and not be mad at me until I actually make you mad at me.
the title of this blog post. That’s unfair of me. I’ve made you mad at me
before I can legitimately make you mad at me. Tell you what. I’ll start over
and make my case in a logical, straightforward manner, and you can start over
and not be mad at me until I actually make you mad at me.
When I was 9 years old I started
growing my hair longer because I wanted to look like Luke Skywalker. This was
1982. I would get the occasional “ma’am” or other presumption that I was a
little girl. I had the same problem over the phone, because at 9 years old my
voice wasn’t very deep. My mom told me that people weren’t always paying attention
and sometimes misspeak. This made enough sense to me that I stopped worrying about
it. I certainly never got mad about it with people. The only reason I say this
is because I have really long hair now. No matter what the music videos of hair
bands suggest, it wasn’t common for men to have long hair in the 80s. I’ve been
called “ma’am” numerous times in my life. For the last couple of decades, I’ve
had prominent facial hair. I still get called “ma’am” every so often. I’m not
worried about it. Call me whatever you. It really doesn’t bother me.
growing my hair longer because I wanted to look like Luke Skywalker. This was
1982. I would get the occasional “ma’am” or other presumption that I was a
little girl. I had the same problem over the phone, because at 9 years old my
voice wasn’t very deep. My mom told me that people weren’t always paying attention
and sometimes misspeak. This made enough sense to me that I stopped worrying about
it. I certainly never got mad about it with people. The only reason I say this
is because I have really long hair now. No matter what the music videos of hair
bands suggest, it wasn’t common for men to have long hair in the 80s. I’ve been
called “ma’am” numerous times in my life. For the last couple of decades, I’ve
had prominent facial hair. I still get called “ma’am” every so often. I’m not
worried about it. Call me whatever you. It really doesn’t bother me.
This brings me to the transgender
woman who flipped her shit because some young clerk was having trouble with the
difference between sir and ma’am, and this may be where I make you mad but
stick with me, I don’t think the guy behind the counter was actually the one
having the problem with sir or ma’am.
woman who flipped her shit because some young clerk was having trouble with the
difference between sir and ma’am, and this may be where I make you mad but
stick with me, I don’t think the guy behind the counter was actually the one
having the problem with sir or ma’am.
I watched the video, and all I could
think was that if I’d flipped out like that I would probably be sitting in a
squad car waiting to see if there were going to be charges pressed on me. Then
I thought about the way that the store clerk was handling the situation. It was
that deer in a headlight stance that you take when you have a customer acting
like a lunatic, but you don’t want to lose your job so you go ahead and take
the verbal abuse.
think was that if I’d flipped out like that I would probably be sitting in a
squad car waiting to see if there were going to be charges pressed on me. Then
I thought about the way that the store clerk was handling the situation. It was
that deer in a headlight stance that you take when you have a customer acting
like a lunatic, but you don’t want to lose your job so you go ahead and take
the verbal abuse.
Yes, I said verbal abuse.
Why am I calling it verbal abuse?
I mean this was a transgender woman standing up for herself and the LGBTQ
community. Isn’t it justified? Let’s do an equality check.
I mean this was a transgender woman standing up for herself and the LGBTQ
community. Isn’t it justified? Let’s do an equality check.
I’m a 5’ 7” male weighing in at
about 190 lbs and I have broad shoulders. Let’s just say for a second that I’m
wearing makeup (which I do sometimes) and have a dress on (which I do sometimes.)
I’m going to be honest and let you know that it’s been a few years since I’ve
dressed up, but I’ve been working a lot. It’s unlikely that I’ll go to my grave
without dressing up again though. I like wearing makeup. I’m not a drag queen
though. I’m not even sure I’d use the term cross dresser, but I feel better
about the term.
about 190 lbs and I have broad shoulders. Let’s just say for a second that I’m
wearing makeup (which I do sometimes) and have a dress on (which I do sometimes.)
I’m going to be honest and let you know that it’s been a few years since I’ve
dressed up, but I’ve been working a lot. It’s unlikely that I’ll go to my grave
without dressing up again though. I like wearing makeup. I’m not a drag queen
though. I’m not even sure I’d use the term cross dresser, but I feel better
about the term.
So let’s say that I’m at a Game
Stop and I’m in light makeup and a masculine enough dress, and the person
behind the counter asks me if I’m a drag queen, and then uses the term again
even though I’ve said that I don’t consider myself a drag queen. Now, before I
talk about me going off in a way that I would never go off, let’s pretend that
the person behind the counter is a young woman. Now imagine that I start going
off on her, I call her names, I ask her to take it outside, I kick over a
display, and then I threaten to out her on the internet as homophobic. Am I a
cross dresser standing up for the LGBTQ community, or am I some crazy middle
aged dude verbally attacking a defenseless woman?
Stop and I’m in light makeup and a masculine enough dress, and the person
behind the counter asks me if I’m a drag queen, and then uses the term again
even though I’ve said that I don’t consider myself a drag queen. Now, before I
talk about me going off in a way that I would never go off, let’s pretend that
the person behind the counter is a young woman. Now imagine that I start going
off on her, I call her names, I ask her to take it outside, I kick over a
display, and then I threaten to out her on the internet as homophobic. Am I a
cross dresser standing up for the LGBTQ community, or am I some crazy middle
aged dude verbally attacking a defenseless woman?
By the way, the person who
originally called our transgender heroine “sir” was a woman shopping in the
store who was asking her to stop cussing because there was a young man in the
building.
originally called our transgender heroine “sir” was a woman shopping in the
store who was asking her to stop cussing because there was a young man in the
building.
To be fair, I don’t know what
happened before the video was rolling. I do know that when the video starts the
transgender woman is focused on getting a refund rather than a store credit,
not what gendered title she’s being called. She doesn’t start going off on “sir
or ma’am” until the woman calls her “sir.” You hear the cashier say “sir” once
in the video and it sounds more like a slip of the tongue. That may just be my
impression.
happened before the video was rolling. I do know that when the video starts the
transgender woman is focused on getting a refund rather than a store credit,
not what gendered title she’s being called. She doesn’t start going off on “sir
or ma’am” until the woman calls her “sir.” You hear the cashier say “sir” once
in the video and it sounds more like a slip of the tongue. That may just be my
impression.
Here’s what I’m focused on. The
transgender woman asked this guy to “take it outside,” which is what a dude says
when offering to settle a squabble with another dude by fighting. I
don’t know that I’ve ever once had a woman ask me to “take it outside.” I’ve
had plenty of men ask me to “take it outside,” but I really don’t think I’ve
ever had a ma’am ask me that. I don’t back down from fights. I haven’t been in
a fight since high school, but I haven’t backed down from a fight either. I
scare people when I’m mad. I’m not sure why. I don’t get truly mad often
though, so that’s probably good.
transgender woman asked this guy to “take it outside,” which is what a dude says
when offering to settle a squabble with another dude by fighting. I
don’t know that I’ve ever once had a woman ask me to “take it outside.” I’ve
had plenty of men ask me to “take it outside,” but I really don’t think I’ve
ever had a ma’am ask me that. I don’t back down from fights. I haven’t been in
a fight since high school, but I haven’t backed down from a fight either. I
scare people when I’m mad. I’m not sure why. I don’t get truly mad often
though, so that’s probably good.
Back to the guy behind the
counter; he’s just been called out by someone who considers herself
transgender. I have no way of knowing if there is still a penis there, so I
don’t know what stage of transgender we’re talking. What should he do in this
situation?
counter; he’s just been called out by someone who considers herself
transgender. I have no way of knowing if there is still a penis there, so I
don’t know what stage of transgender we’re talking. What should he do in this
situation?
I mean, I don’t back down from
fights, but I wouldn’t even know what to do. Is this person still a man meaning
that I’m obligated to step outside? Is this person a woman meaning that if I
were to step outside I’m a woman abuser. If I get into a fight with a
transgender person is it a hate crime? And while we’re at it, do I want to lose
my job over this crazy bitch? You see what I did there? I called her a gender
appropriate bad name, because I respect her gender choice.
fights, but I wouldn’t even know what to do. Is this person still a man meaning
that I’m obligated to step outside? Is this person a woman meaning that if I
were to step outside I’m a woman abuser. If I get into a fight with a
transgender person is it a hate crime? And while we’re at it, do I want to lose
my job over this crazy bitch? You see what I did there? I called her a gender
appropriate bad name, because I respect her gender choice.
The thing is that this is someone
who was acting atrociously to a woman who was asking her nicely to watch her
language in front of a “young man” in the store. This is someone who is acting
atrociously toward the worker behind the counter. This is someone who
vandalized property. This is someone who used a veiled threat toward the worker,
“Motherfucker, take it outside. If you want to call me sir again, I’ll show you
a fucking sir.”
who was acting atrociously to a woman who was asking her nicely to watch her
language in front of a “young man” in the store. This is someone who is acting
atrociously toward the worker behind the counter. This is someone who
vandalized property. This is someone who used a veiled threat toward the worker,
“Motherfucker, take it outside. If you want to call me sir again, I’ll show you
a fucking sir.”
Transgender Woman Behaving Badly.
Let’s nitpick for a moment and
then I’ll make my real point. How dare she presume that the guy behind the
counter is a motherfucker? What if he’s into fucking fathers? What if he likes
to call men daddy? Boys can have daddy issues too. Stupid non-gender-specific-parentfucker.
then I’ll make my real point. How dare she presume that the guy behind the
counter is a motherfucker? What if he’s into fucking fathers? What if he likes
to call men daddy? Boys can have daddy issues too. Stupid non-gender-specific-parentfucker.
And to quickly nitpick the
article, while it does include the video, it conveniently skips the call to
“take it outside” in the quote.
article, while it does include the video, it conveniently skips the call to
“take it outside” in the quote.
Mostly, the article is ok. It’s
reporting on how the transgender woman is defending her actions. How does she
defend herself? She said her actions were justified. I can only guess that she
feels this way because, what? She’s standing up for civil rights?
reporting on how the transgender woman is defending her actions. How does she
defend herself? She said her actions were justified. I can only guess that she
feels this way because, what? She’s standing up for civil rights?
Would Martin Luther King Jr.
agree with your actions? Would Mahatma Gandhi agree with your actions?
agree with your actions? Would Mahatma Gandhi agree with your actions?
There’s standing up for your
rights and there’s throwing a temper tantrum. I myself have done both, so I
know the difference. That was a temper tantrum, not a civil rights protest. If
I was in her place, I would apologize to everyone involved, tell them I was on
my period, chuckle a little bit because I’m ironically funny, and then I would
discuss why I was upset.
rights and there’s throwing a temper tantrum. I myself have done both, so I
know the difference. That was a temper tantrum, not a civil rights protest. If
I was in her place, I would apologize to everyone involved, tell them I was on
my period, chuckle a little bit because I’m ironically funny, and then I would
discuss why I was upset.
If she would have done that, I
would have spoken up in defense of her. I would have still criticized her
methods, but I would have defended her. It would have sounded something like,
“Hey, we all have bad days. Someone just happened to catch her bad day on
video.” By trying to blame the cashier and saying that she would do it all the
same if she had the chance, she really lost any sense of support I might have
had for her.
would have spoken up in defense of her. I would have still criticized her
methods, but I would have defended her. It would have sounded something like,
“Hey, we all have bad days. Someone just happened to catch her bad day on
video.” By trying to blame the cashier and saying that she would do it all the
same if she had the chance, she really lost any sense of support I might have
had for her.
Chris McGinty is a blogger who can make himself look pretty nice using only a black eyeliner pencil and a red eyeliner pencil.