Force-O De Mayo (May the Force Be Here Now)

by Chris McGinty of

Only once every 7 million years
does National Star Wars Day and National Cerveza Day fall on Saturday and
Sunday [editors note: give or take 7 million years], and you’re alive to
experience it. Now maybe by the time you read this you’ll feel like the Day of
the Dead warmed over. Yeah! Woot! High cinco, Bro!

Speaking of Bro, that’s how I
celebrated May the Fourth Be With You Day was by showing my brother a video
that breaks down the character arcs of “The Last Jedi,” which are all very
impressively written. You see, my brother is in the camp of fans who believe
that “The Last Jedi” completely sucked. I just don’t get it, but I might as
well take this moment to officially blog about my theory about the band Oasis.
Oasis is the Star Wars of Brit
Pop. In 1994, Oasis released their first album “Definitely, Maybe,” which gave
a new hope to music lovers… ok, maybe I’m taking that a bit too far. But it was
a very good album, and it caught people’s attention. In 1995, Oasis released
“(What’s the Story) Morning Glory,” and seriously, it was an amazing album. Then
much like the Star Wars movies from “Return of the Jedi” on, Oasis continued to
release perfectly fine albums that fans just couldn’t accept as a unified
Listening to individual tracks
from 1997’s “Be Here Now” I was reading the comments sections of the different
songs, and I was wondering if the writers of the comments were hearing the same
songs as I was. It seemed like half of the audience hated any given song while
the other half loved it. I was highly amused when somebody pointed out, “If every
song from this album is the only good song from this album then that means the
whole album is good, right?”
The thing about Oasis is that
they have die-hard fans who hate everything after the second album, which seems
a bit insane to me. Then again, the Star Wars die-hards are a group of people
who haven’t liked anything the franchise has done since 1981, and that seems
insane to me as well.
Oasis has put out seven studio
albums to date, with the most recent being in 2008, but I think that they’re missing
a wonderful opportunity here. Oasis could release their own “The Last Jedi” for
their eighth “saga” album (Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds could be like the
stand alones). It would require that Oasis’s eighth album was a complete and
total progressive rock album dripping with music theory, time signature
changes, and deeply mathematic musical perfection, but it couldn’t sound like
an Oasis album. Sure, it would be their voices, and there would be an
occasional nod to The Beatles, but the fans would have to agree that they were
not being true to their sound, and that it’s entirely possible that they were
just trying to piss off their fan base.
Then there would be review after
review on You Tube talking about how bad the album was, because it just wasn’t
what Oasis was supposed to be. Soon after, there would be a bunch of elite
music majors making videos explaining why it is that the album was musically
correct in all ways, and the comments would be a bunch of fans saying, “It
doesn’t matter if it was technically written well, it’s still awful!”
And this is my May the Fourth
wish for the world, because you can’t exactly wish for world peace on Star
“Wars” day, can you?
Anyway, on a final serious note;
I’m saddened by the recent passing of Peter Mayhew. From what I understand, he
was a super fan of Star Wars fandom, and truly embraced the fame that Star Wars
brought him. It’s hard to believe, but there was a time when actors would try
to distance themselves from sci-fi jobs they had taken in the past, so it’s
nice to know that Peter Mayhew let his geek flag fly long before the mainstream
said it was ok.
Chris McGinty is a blogger, and he’s
one of those assholes who insists on enjoying the experience of watching Star
Wars movies. He also wonders why National Star Wars Day isn’t on May 25th, but
what does he know?

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