Edited by Chris McGinty (According To Whim .com)

Posted on 9-2-10 as make up for 8-29-10)

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Zonk

by Chris McGinty (totally stealing athan’s thunder)

[Hi, I’m Chris, and I’m taking you on a trip through all of our incomplete material. Here’s an explanation of why. I’m actually now going to deal with a draft that only had a title. It was Nathan’s draft, and it was called, “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Zonk.” Or something like that. Cos it actually is Zonk, so maybe the article was called something else. Nathan wrote an article explaining the rules of the dice game ICBINY, and he wanted to follow up with the rules of Zonk, a extremely similar dice game. I wasn’t very helpful. I always meant to ask my former roommates the rules. I finally spoke to them at a time that I remembered to ask. So here they are. The Rules.]

Start with five dice. Decide who goes first.

The first step requires you to obtain 1,000 points in a turn to get on the board.

To gain points you roll the five dice. You may set aside any ones or fives you roll at 50 points for a five and 100 points for a one.

In addition, if you roll three of a kind of any number, you may set aside that three of a kind at the following rates: Three 2’s = 200 points. Three 3’s = 300 points. Three 4’s = 400 points. Three 5’s = 500 points. Three 6’s = 600 points. Three 1’s = 1,000 points. If you roll four or five of a kind, each additional counts as 100 more points, and you set those dice aside too. Example: Four 4’s = 500 (400+100), Five 3’s = 500 (300+100+100).

When you have set aside all the dice for points, you simply note the point total, pick up all five dice, and keep rolling.

There are two point totals that you can only get when you are rolling all five dice.

Full House (three of a kind and a pair) = 500 points

Straight (either 1-5 or 2-6) = 1,000

All points are temporary until you stop rolling. Just because you may score points, you do not have to set them aside. For instance, if you roll a 1, a 5, and those are your only possible points, you must set aside at least one of them, but do not have to set aside both.

You stop rolling on two occasions. The first is if you have no points to set aside, in which case you lose all the temporary points. The second is if you choose to stop, in which case the temporary points are added to you permanent point total.

The first player to reach 10,000 or more passes the dice. Each other player then gets one chance to get a higher score. Whoever has the highest total, at the end of this round, wins.

One other rule. If you roll two dice and don’t roll a one or a five, in most cases you go out and pass the turn to the next player, but if you roll a pair, you may re-roll. This only counts if you are rolling two dice.

One house rule, that may have been a real rule, is that you have to have at least 300 temporary points to stop.

Here are some example turns:

Nathan: Rolls five dice (1,2,4,6,6). He sets aside the 1, says, “100” and rolls again. He rolls four dice (1,3,4,5). He sets aside the 1 and the 5, says, “250” and rolls again. He rolls two dice (4,4). Normally he would go out since he has no points to set aside, but since he rolled a pair, he smiles smugly, and rolls again. He rolls two dice (3,4). He sighs, loses his temporary point total, and passes the dice to Chris.

Chris: Rolls five dice (4,4,4,5,5). He starts to think that he will just hold aside one 5 for purposes of rolling more dice, but then he realizes he has a full house. What luck! He says, “500.” He collects all five dice, and rolls. (4,4,4,4,6) He sets aside the four fours, gaining 400 for the three of a kind and 100 for the extra, and he says, “1,000. That puts me on the board. I’ll stop.” His temporary total of 1,000 becomes permanent, and he notes it under his name, and passes the dice to Miguel.

Miguel: Says, “I’m watching ‘The Phantom Menace.’ This is the good part.”

Chris: Says, “The only good part,” passes the dice to Nathan, and crosses Miguel’s name off the score card.

Nathan: Rolls five dice (6,6,6,6,6). “Yahtzee!” he jokes. He sets aside the five sixes at 600 points for the three of a kind and 100 points for each extra. “800,” he says. He wants to stop, just cos he has a feeling, but he can’t because he hasn’t scored 1,000 to get on the board yet. He collects all five dice and rolls (2,2,3,4,6) “Good lord,” he says. He loses his temporary total, and passes the dice to Chris.

Chris: Rolls five dice. (2,3,4,5,6). He starts to set aside the 5, and then realizes that once again he has struck it big with a straight. He sets aside the five dice. “1,000,” he says, and collects all five dice to roll again. He rolls five dice (1,2,3,4,5). He hears Nathan say something that is inappropriate for a family friendly blog (not that this one is). He sets aside the five dice and says, “2,000.” He collects the five dice, and rolls them. (2,2,2,4,6). He thinks about the fact that some players don’t keep three 2s if they don’t have to, because it’s only worth 200 points and they get less dice to roll, but since he has no other points to set aside, and must set aside points, he sets aside the three 2s, and says, “2,200. I’ll stop.” His temporary points become permanent points, and he notes them on the score pad. He now has 3,200. He passes the dice to Nathan.

Nathan: Rolls five dice (1,5,5,6,6). He sets aside the 1, and says, “100.” He hopes that by not setting aside the two 5s that he will improve his chances of rolling a three or four of a kind He rolls four dice (2,2,4,4). “Good lord!” he says, considering that the pod race is pretty cool, and he’s missing it for this stupid game. He passes the dice to Chris.

Chris: Rolls five dice. (3,3,3,4,5). He realizes that he may be in jeopardy of rolling no points, and since he is already on the board, he sets aside the three 3s and the 5. He says, “350. I’ll stop,” and passes the dice to Nathan.

The game goes on like this. Nathan finally gets on the board, and the next turn Chris scores enough to get over 10,000 points and win. Nathan tries to make a grand comeback, but it’s a lost cause.