Review: Army Men (Post 1 of 6)

by Nathan Stout (of

Today’s (first of a few that will run one-a-week) post is all about our favorite childhood toy: Army Men! I got stuck on this Army Men kick lately and it drove me to these mad lengths!

In these posts I will cover all the different Army Men I could find at retail. There have been tons of different molds used throughout the years and at this point I decided it would be too crazy to try to find them all so I decided to focus on what’s available right at the moment at retail.

Today’s: Army Men are those green and tan mutants from Ja-Ru brought to you Walmart. You know Walmart means SUPER QUALITY… I kid, I kid. What do you expect for a buck? For that hard-earned dollar you get a bag of tan or green (your choice) time-traveling freaks.

You get 48 (we got 49! OMG). That comes out to about 2 cents each.

There appears to be soldiers from WWI, WWII, Vietnam, and Korea, it’s hard to tell. There is such a freak show going on here.

Coming from the world of CCGs I am always on the look out for rares, uncommons, and commons and in this batch I got 2 rares! This running goof and his grenade hurling guy. Wow, they must be worth… .0248755 cents each!

Here are our poor mangled troops… such a travesty. Hey, wait that guy on the right looks like a limbo trooper (either that or he has a really bad curvature of the spine).

This guy is some sort of alien! He is so thin and tall, possibly the poorest sculpt I have ever seen (so far). He is so thin you will think this photo is squished… but it’s not!

Ok, there was the first batch. I will give Ja-Ru props for making the guys out of a harder material than the floppy goo most Army Men are made of.

My rating system will be 1 out of 5 (with 1 being worst).

Price: 3
Quality of Sculpt: 2
Material Quality: 3

Army Men Review Part 1
Army Men Review Part 2
Army Men Review Part 3
Army Men Review Part 4
Army Men Review Part 5
Army Men Review Part 6

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