Flash Fiction: Professor Citizen’s Lullaby

by Chris McGinty

The daily message came on the screen. Tonight it was the good looking, father like figure with the perfect smile. The screen washed out and waved for 30 seconds while he exhibited his paternalistic smile. Then the picture snapped into place.
“It’s me, Professor Citizen. Everything is wonderful in the nation tonight. We live in easily the greatest nation on Earth. Everything is wonderful in the nation tonight. This is why everyone wants to live here and those who can’t want to destroy us. This is why we keep you safe, so that you may work and raise your family…”

A series of beeps.

“… in the greatest nation history has ever seen. Remember a few short years ago…”

The series of beeps but in reverse. A sickening feeling.

“… when there was a dangerous leader. He was a danger to your job; therfore he was a danger to your family. He wanted you to suffer. He wanted your family to suffer. Why? Because he wanted to get reelected. Do you know how dangerous leaders are when they’re only interested in getting elected? This is why I’m our infinite wisdom, we are outlawing elections. Your leaders will look out for your best interests so much better if they’re not concerned with pleasing everyone to get reelected. Your voice and opinion…”

The screen waves. This goes on for nearly an hour.

“Your voice and opinion matter more now than ever. Your leader will see to that because he loves you and he loves this nation. He will always do what is best for your job and your family. Keep your family going. Keep your family strong. We need the largest population of natural born citizens in the world, because those who were born in inferior nations want to come here and ruin what we have.”

There is another set of waves and beeps. There is a feeling of contentment. When this is done Professor Citizen is still there.

“But look at me rattling on when you’re probably ready to get the best sleep you’ve ever had so you’re refreshed for your job tomorrow so you can raise your family in the greatest nation in the world.”

The screen goes black as the TV powers down automatically.

I love this country. I live in the greatest nation in the world. I think it’s time that my wife and I should have another child. I’ll tell her tomorrow after we are off work. For now, I feel like I’m due for the greatest sleep I’ve ever had. I will go to my job and come straight home. I live in the greatest nation ever, but it’s dangerous out there, because there are citizens from other countries who are jealous of what we have…

Chris McGinty is a flash fiction writer who is – a series of waves and beeps – easily the greatest fiction writer you have ever read and ever will read.

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